By: Julian Patterson
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1. If you normally sit in the middle of a row in a big lecture hall, go to the bathroom before or after class. Climbing over 10 people to go to the bathroom and maybe sip some water from the fountain is hardly worth the effort or the dirty looks you might receive. Big lectures aren’t very long in general. Sit tight and grind it out.
2. We’ve all experienced this: You’re halfway through the class period. You were supposed to have a scheduled quiz at the beginning of class, but through some divine intervention your professor totally forgot about it. With 10 minutes to go and everybody is looking at each other in gleeful disbelief. You’re about to sneak out of class without taking the quiz when some moron opens their mouth and reminds the professor about the scheduled quiz. You take the quiz. You fail the quiz. You leave class demoralized. It’s the professor’s job to administer the quizzes, not the student’s. Don’t be that student.
3. Don’t take yourself too seriously or think too highly of yourself. Some people carry themselves and talk like they know everything, have been everywhere, and done it all. They share their thoughts frequently throughout each class period. They think their 3.7 GPA qualifies them to drop cynical anecdotes and worthless pearls of wisdom. Often times they speak with the sole purpose to hear their own voice. Attention: you are not God’s gift to the world.
4. When someone makes an idiotic comment in class they deserve to hear about it from their peers. However, there is always someone on his or her moral high horse who has to ruin the roast and play the voice of reason. If someone is taking heavy fire for something they made a comment about, there is no need to step in and defend said person. Either join the roast or wait patiently for the next topic of conversation.
5. Students tend to show up to class without doing the assigned reading for that day. Don’t be the person who makes everybody look bad by going out of your way to show the professor you have prepared for class and read several chapters ahead. It’s great to contribute to discussion, but not in a way that makes the rest of the class look like a bunch of incompetent and unprepared idiots.
6. Here’s the situation: you’ve suffered through another brutal lecture and there’s less than a minute left in class. It looks like you’ll get out a little bit early. “Does anybody have any questions?” your professor asks while everybody is closing their notebooks and packing up their bags. Just as you are about to stand up, someone blurts out a long and drawn out question, which requires a long and drawn out answer. This is an extremely selfish thing to do. Approach your professor after class and ask your stupid question on your own time.
7. If you’re going to cry about how badly you failed an exam, you better be sure you failed—none of this complaining about how hard the exam was, only to get it back a week later with a big fat “A” circled in red pen on the top of the front page. Not only is this annoying, but it is also tremendously inconsiderate. There are people who actually fail exams, not just pathetically panic about a couple of points. If you ace an exam, admit it or shut up about it. Don’t lie and say you failed when you in actuality you got a 95.
8. Students on their computer or phone the whole time are annoying in a subtle way. We understand that you are addicted to texting and various forms of social media, but seriously, you’ve made the conscious decision to go to class. Close the laptop and put away the phone. You can do that outside the classroom. Don’t waste your parents’ money. Make the effort to learn something or don’t show up at all.
9. Everything your professor says can most likely be found in the textbook. So instead of spending the whole class period furiously scribbling down every word your professor dictates, relax and listen for a while. The most important and pertinent information will be written on the board in most cases. Beyond that, pick and choose the most important and valuable information for you, not what other might think is important to them.
10. We’ve all been there before: 10 minutes before class and you don’t have all the homework done. You’re obviously in a desperate situation, so you ask one of your classmates for some help. Normally this isn’t a problem and your classmate will help you by either explaining what’s going on or just giving you his or her homework. However, sometimes you encounter a classmate who is reluctant to help or is really cryptic when giving you help. These people are the worst. They need to get over themselves and do the right thing. Always help a classmate in need because there’s a good chance that you’ll need a favor later in the semester.