Top 10 Fictional Doctors

Courtesy of Miggity from The Ultimate Hatelist

Check out The Ultimate Hatelist’s ten best fictional doctors… the countdown begins after the jump.

10. Dr. Albert W. Wily

Dr. Wily, more commonly known as the antagonist to Mega Man, helped Dr. Light create a series of humanoid robots to help mankind. However, when he wasn’t given enough credit, he reprogrammed them all to destroy the world. I know, I know, it sounds like your typical disgruntled video game bad guy, but Dr. Wily scores most of his points for persistence. I mean this guy has been trying to destroy the world using the same scheme for over, like, 20 years. He’s gotten so stubborn with age, like most old people, that he refuses to even try a new approach. Instead, he just started creating really retarded robots like Plant Man, Tomahawk Man, and Clown Man. Something’s got to be said for his dedication.

9. Dr. Ivo Robotnik

To be honest, I don’t really have much to say about Dr. Robotnik. I thought he was an obscure enough reference to get a laugh so that it wouldn’t matter what I wrote in this part. He is actually just like Dr. Wily, except a little fatter, crappier, and a ginger. But after some meticulous research on the subject I found that Dr. Robotnik, a somewhat mediocre Sega Genesis Villain, has some part of the human brain named after him. It’s true. Don’t believe me? Just go HERE. Well done Dr. Robotnik, I am a real goddamn person and the only things named for me are the boogers under my coffee table. By the way, I was so close to making that article link go to a midget porn site.

8. Dr. Nick Riviera

Dr. Nick, a doctor from The Simpsons, is a great tertiary character and beloved quack. Although being completely incompetent and Hispanic is a great combo, subtle racism only gets you into the top ten. You have to be a truly awesome fictional doctor to beat out Dr. Robitnik and Dr. Wily. And he is. Dr. Nick’s precious alma mater, Hollywood Upstairs Medical College, was simply a way to legitimately acquire prescription pills for the use of impressing, and probably ultimately subduing, women. It’s actually one of the better ideas I’ve heard in a long time. Maybe he’s not as dumb as we all thought.

7. Dr. Seuss

So the writer who breeds more words than he needs is making a chore for the reader who reads. Got that Hemmingway?

6. Dr. Henry Walton “Indiana” Jones, Jr.

I think your early career of fighting Nazis, recovering relevant artifacts and being a bona fide badass was extensive enough for me to overlook ‘The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.’ You’re welcome. Except for the part with those giant ants. I mean, that was unforgivable. Oh, and Dr. Jones, think I saw the Cross of Coronado at a garage sale in Jersey if you’re interested.

For the remainder of the “Top 10 Fictional Doctors” as well as all your hater needs visit The Ultimate Hatelist.