What to Do When You Have a Stage 5 Clinger

By: Eric Michael (University of Miami)

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Let’s be honest, we’ve all had a guy or girl who just wont leave us alone.  Whether it’s constant text messages, phone calls, hell even showing up at the door a million times a day.  This person just doesn’t seem to get the hint that we are not interested in them.  Here’s what to do when you have a stage 5 clinger.

Don’t answer the phone.

I can pretty much guarantee how you two met.  You were out with your friends and he was out with his, and you thought he was cute.  You two started talking and eventually you decided to give him your number.  He said I’ll text you mine so you have it (he didn’t think it was a real number) and just like that you have your first communication with him.  He probably tried to start a conversation with you after he left, via text message, and you said you were going to bed.  The next morning you have a million text messages all from him.  So what do you do?  Don’t answer the phone.  Hopefully he gets the hint after the four million text messages that you didn’t answer, but don’t give them any false hope by answering.  Some girls say they’d rather a guy text them before the two day rule. But would you rather have a clinger on your hands?

Say you have a significant other.

Some guys honestly don’t care when they hear a girl has a boyfriend, but for the select few guys that do actually care they’ll back off.  Most stage 5 clingers that are guys are usually good guys who don’t want to ruin a relationship.  They’ll probably ask about your significant other so make stuff up about them. It sounds cheesy, but trust me, it’s an easy and effective way to get rid of him.

Say you are not ready for anything serious.

Telling someone you just came out of a really bad relationship and you need your space should work.  A true clinger is usually so desperate for a relationship that they will respect this and sometimes be willing to wait for you (sounds creepy but its true).  But saying that you need your space and really just want to left alone hopefully is enough of a hint for the him to hit the road and find somebody else to cling to.

Say you aren’t looking for a summer fling.

This is probably the most effective one.  Most of us will be heading either to school in the fall or back to school and aren’t trying to get tied up with something such as a summer fling.  The clinger should acknowledge this and bow his or her head in defeat.  They may be upset until they find their next victim, but at least they’re out of your hair.

Say you just want to be friends.

This is the final nail in the coffin for any love-seeking stage 5 clinger.  The just friends line should send this person away faster than a cat that’s being dragged to the vet. Telling a person you just want to be friends signifies there is no attraction at all, and that it wont work out.  No clinger ever wants to be friends anyway.  They are searching for action and attention, and when they don’t get it from you, they will look somewhere else for it.

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