10 Great “Lessons to Learn” Quotes From College-Themed Movies

College Quotes

You know what surprised me a great deal about college movies?  There really aren’t that many to choose from.  After I saw this list of top grossing college movies, I was pretty pissed.  In any event, one thing these movies do (besides hopefully make us laugh) is teach us a thing or two about life.

So let us take a look at 10 quotes from college movies that teach us stuff.

Clearly if you want to see more quotes please feel free to go to IMDB.

Real Genius

College Quotes

“Can you hammer a six inch board through your penis?  A girl’s gotta have her standards”

Lesson Learned:  Do whatever you have to do to get laid.

Van Wilder

College Quotes

“Don’t Be A Fool, Wrap Your Tool”

Lesson Learned:  Come on guys.

Revenge of the Nerds

College Quotes

Coach Harris: You know, when you were a baby in your crib, your father looked down at you, he had but one hope – some day my son will grow to be a man. Well look at you now. You just got your asses whipped by a bunch of goddamn nerds.
Coach Harris: *Nerds*! Well, if I was you, I’d do something about it. I would get up and redeem myself in the eyes of my father, my maker, and my *coach*!

Lesson Learned:  Don’t ever f*ck with your athletic coach.

Aninal House

College Quotes

Bluto: Over? Did you say “over”? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
Otter: Germans?
Boon: Forget it, he’s rolling.
Bluto: And it ain’t over now. ‘Cause when the goin’ gets tough…
[thinks hard]
Bluto: the tough get goin’! Who’s with me? Let’s go!
[runs out, alone; then returns]
Bluto: What the **** happened to the Delta I used to know? Where’s the spirit? Where’s the guts, huh? This could be the greatest night of our lives, but you’re gonna let it be the worst. “Ooh, we’re afraid to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble.” Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I’m not gonna take this. Wormer, he’s a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer…
Otter: Dead! Bluto’s right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody’s part.
Bluto: We’re just the guys to do it.
D-Day: Let’s do it.
Bluto: *Let’s do it*!

Lesson Learned:  Don’t ever give up


College Quotes

Droz: Ok, now it’s true, the majority of students today are so cravenly PC, they wouldn’t know a good time if it was sitting on their face, but there’s one thing that will always unite us and them. They’re young. They may not realize it yet. They’ve got the same raging hormones, the same self-destructive desire to get boldly trashed and wildly out of control. Look out that window! That’s not a protest! That is cry for help! They’re begging us…
Droz: Please have a party! Feed us drinks!
[Continues shouting]
Droz: Get us laid! Aahhhhhh!

Lesson Learned:  You don’t know a damned thing in college, and you don’t have to.

Old School

College Quotes

“Alright, let me be the first to say congratulations to you then. You get one vagina for the rest of your life. Real smart Frank. Way to work it through.”

Lesson Learned:  Don’t ever get married

Road Trip

College Quotes

“Think about it Josh, you’re in college. The window of opportunity to drink and do drugs and take advantage of young girls is getting smaller by the day.”

Lesson Learned – come on guys, you know this lesson.

Back To School

College Quotes

“Bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out. And then bring one every ten minutes”

Lesson Learned – there’s never enough beer.


College Quotes

“You’re 5 foot nothin’, 100 and nothin’, and you have barely a speck of athletic ability. And you hung in there with the best college football players in the land for 2 years. And you’re gonna walk outta here with a degree from the University of Notre Dame. In this life, you don’t have to prove nothin’ to nobody but yourself. And after what you’ve gone through, if you haven’t done that by now, it ain’t gonna never happen. Now go on back.”

Lesson Learned – this is just a great quote and you guys can determine if for yourselves.


College Quotes

“Solitude brought out the worst in me. It gave me time to brood over the nature of things. I wondered how some people could be such a necessary part of one’s life one day, and simply vanish the next. Isn’t it supposed to last? We ran into each other at graduation. We had lunch about a year after that. It was nice to see them, but it wasn’t like the old days. My college experience wasn’t what I had planned. It bore no resemblance to the pictures in the brochure. But I’m not unhappy; I don’t think any of us are. We got what we needed out of it. It’s kind of like going on a vacation – you plan everything out but one day you make a wrong turn or take a detour, and you end up in some crazy place you can never find on the map, doing something you never thought you’d do. Maybe you feel a little lost while it’s happening. But, later, you realize it was the best part of the whole trip”

Lesson Learned – College is by far the best time of your life.

*Courtesy of Natty at