If you’re a marijuana enthusiast and you haven’t discovered Leafly yet, well I’m about to blow your fucking mind. There are a million and one blogs and communities out there for both medical and recreational marijuana users, but I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anything as comprehensive as this. You can not only find a dispensary near you, but sort hundreds of strains by effects and medical uses, read and give reviews, upload pictures, etc. The best part? It’s all gamified, so you get badges and points for participating. Brilliant. But I’m not here to promote the site, I’m here to highlight some of the funkiest strains that I’ve never even heard of. Let’s burn this one down together.
Let’s make it clear that I gave up on weed names back in high school, but I guess that’s the kind of healthy cynicism that comes with buying herb from 16-year-olds in a state that doesn’t recognize the medicinal benefits of marijuana. I’m sure the situation would be completely different if I visited a dispensary every few days instead. Thanks America.
Darth Vader OG
Yes, a Star Wars reference right off the bat. And you’re so foolish if you think it’s the only one of Leafly’s massive list of buds. There are others like Skywalker, Yoda OG, Death Star, and more that I probably missed in all my stonerific excitement. Having trouble sleeping? That’s what this Indica was fucking made for, brah. It’ll give you straight body high and then you’ll pass out on the couch. Snoring is a bonus.
Big Budda Cheese
You heard me. I’m sure you’ve heard of Cheese, Blue Cheese, and a few other forms of Cheese weed, but this is the lord of all the Cheeses. From what I just read, there’s a reason I never heard this name tossed around before: apparently, it’s a very unique plant that was available only in clone form for about 15 years…in the UK. So it’s rare, unusual, and spent a decade and a half chilling across the pond. Got a few tests that you’re stressing out about? I hear this is great for that, plus it makes you more creative. Study high, take the test high, and get high grades – state dependent thinking, I got through college on that theory.
I guess the movie of the same name really wasn’t joking. Pineapple Express is a real thing. And from what I read, the film’s portrayal of the high it comes with isn’t so far off either – just pure happiness, energy, and euphoria, accompanied by the occasional bought of paranoia or dizziness. Good job, Seth Rogen.
Ed Rosenthal Super Bud
I have no idea who Ed Rosenthal is or why he has a strain of weed named after him, but I hear only good things, so he must be doing a great job in life. It’s a hybrid, and I’m gonna have to quote Leafly on this one because the use of language is just so colorful: “The layering of Indica and Sativa qualities in this hybrid is a rare accomplishment. A superb balance of the best traits from each end of the cannabis spectrum has been achieved through expert selection over countless generations. The blend of tropical genes in Ed Rosenthal Super Bud’s multi-faceted background is especially wide-ranging, representing Sativas from all around the equatorial zone – Africa, South East Asia, Central America and the Caribbean.” So yes, Jews breed the best buds.
That’s a bit of a egotistical name, isn’t it? You can’t much lower than self-proclaiming your new (well, it was back in 1990) Indica strain, created by combining the genetics of two magnificent Indicas, as “Fucking Incredible.” But hey, I guess if the reviews back it up, then it must be true – and they certainly do. This isn’t your everyday “lay around, eat candy, and think about my life” type of weed. It gets you FUCKING AMPED – full of zest, energy, motivation, focus, creativity, and a lot of other amazing words that I certainly don’t have the concentration to think of…maybe I should smoke some Fucking Incredible.
Hands down the greatest name for a marijuana strain, ever. The imagery is just fantastic. This is a hybrid of Blue Satellite and AK-47 that actually kinda seems to be a more subdued strain. It produces a uplifting euphoria, but its real power is the medical benefits: it relieves headaches, pain, stress, nausea, and anxiety pretty evenly across the board. So realistically, it’s the furthest thing from something that would cripple a hippie, but the creativity is much appreciated.
What’s a querkle, you ask? Fuck if I know, but I like the way it rolls off the tongue. Wait a tick here, I found out the reason why: “Purple Urkle crossed with Space Queen produces this Indica/Sativa 80/20 marijuana variety. Querkle has a fruity grape & berry scent.” That’s a funny coincidence, because I imagine a Querkle smelling of fruity grapes and berries. You get a nice creative high from it, and as a bonus it make you tingly…nice.
Jack the Ripper
Weed named after a 19th century British serial killer who preyed on prostitutes? Sounds right up my alley. But there’s actually a perfectly good stonerific explanation for the name: JTR is so named because it is absolutely killer weed. The duration and intensity is strong and thought provoking, and it will creep up on you and leave you deep in thought and meditative. Just like the murder of several Victorian-era London hookers. This hybrid is heavy on resin production and produces a nice lemony scent. Wanna see it’s heritage? Okay: Pluton x Purple Haze x Lambsbread x Northern Lights x Jack Herer x Romulan x Cindy99BCGA. That’s like an orgy of your favorite weed.
Matanuska Thunder Fuck
Apparently there’s a whole family of Thunder Fuck strains that I’ve never even heard of, but this one’s got the most unusual name. Yeah Hawaii and Alaska are cool, but this one is very specific because it was bred in the Matanuska Valley of Alaska, just north of Anchorage. It’s a hybrid cross of Haze x Northern Lights x Skunk x Highland Oaxacan Gold, and there’s one word I keep seeing associated with it: legendary. One reviewer summed it up as “really just sweet, piney skunkiness with a dankitude that’ll leave you stinking in the streets…Took a few hits from the 5 footer and it was like getting punched in the face by an evergreen wearing lemon cologne.” Well said friend, well said.
Super Cat Piss
Ahh, finally our game-ending pure Sativa strain with the name that makes me die of laughter every time I say it aloud with gusto. Leafly assures me that it smells like how you would imagine, which I know doesn’t sound very appetizing, but I would definitely deal with it to get that super heady pure Sativa buzz. As always it’ll come with a euphoric, energetic high, but this time you get some giggles with it as well. Wanna read the best review for Super Cat Piss ever? Here: “Got high and watched Contact. You owe it to yourself to do this.” You heard the man, now get to blazing.