By: Dan Birnbaum
Foursquare is the latest rage in the social media game. Although name as one of the worst inventions of 2009 by Time Magazine, Foursquare is still pushing full steam ahead and blowing up all around the world (The Campus Socialite is a huge fan!). For those of you who are not familiar with the Foursquare game, it is pretty simple. Go to any restaurant, club, batting cage, sauna, strip club, local bar, or any other venue that you can think of and simply check in to let the world know that you are currently in that place. Now of course in order to do this you have to download the free app to your Blackberry, Android, iPhone or whatever mobile device you have.
One of the most notable features of Foursquare is the ability to become the mayor of a particular venue. Of course you now find yourself saying, “if this didn’t sound gay at first it certainly stepped up a notch to become über gay.” While you might think this app is a waste of time, I can certainly guarantee you it is not. If you frequent a certain venue on a regular basis, you will become the mayor. Many hotspots like Starbucks have now implemented a promotion where if you are in fact the mayor of your local Starbucks, they will give you discounts on your purchase and your name will be written on chalkboard stating that you are the mayor.
Okay, so being the mayor of a certain venue is awesome, but some people tend to check into some strange ass places that leave people wondering why your friend Benjamin Greenberg is the mayor of the Pottery Barn? Who would even want to admit that? Well folks, I give you the 10 places to avoid being the mayor of on Foursquare!
10. Penn Station Bathroom in New York City
First, I avoid at all costs going in to the bathrooms at Pennsylvania Station, whether I am going to being unleashing my number 1 or number 2. For that matter, taking a dump in Penn Station’s bathroom is nauseating in the first place and I would hate for anyone to actually know that I am in there regardless if I am just popping a zit in the mirror. So my friends, this leads me to say AVOID checking in at the bathrooms in Penn Station and you will never become it’s notorious irritable bowel man on Foursquare.
9. Your Local Planned Parenthood
Male or female, its never a god thing if you’re at planned parenthood. It could only mean a couple things – STDs, obtaining the morning after pill, recommendations for an abortion clinic and I think you get the point. Let me tell you something, if you’re the mayor of a Planned Parenthood clinic you better have a damn good excuse like “I work there” or otherwise I would say you better get your ego in check.
Pretty sure this one speaks for itself, but I would say that if you can even use your cell in that place to check in, why let the world know that you’re behind bars. I mean w0uld you really want to shout out to your friends on Foursquare that you’re in the slammer with @BiggBubba and he’s making you his bitch and then a message pops up saying “Congratulations, You have just become the mayor of Rikers Island. I think not.”
7. Jenny Craig
I am pretty sure that Jenny Craig is nothing like Equinox gym, Crunch or your local private gym and spa. It’s just plain old embarrassing and if you are the mayor of this you better expect to get a message from that says “if you want to lose weight fat ass, I have three words for you. Diet – treadmill – weights.”
6. The Impound
You sad ass son of a bitch. Do you really want people knowing that you either A. Can’t afford your car or B. your Cca got towed for the 1,000,000th time. You better think twice before you have the balls to check in to the impound and become a mayor. It could only mean bad things and I know it’s not that you have a Bentley or Rolls Royce and you’re the asshole that parks in handicap spots.
5. Your Ex-Girlfriend’s House
Riggghtt…your ex-girlfriends house? What the hell are you doing there buddy and why did you even create a new venue named your ex-girlfriend’s house. If you’re the mayor of your ex’s house, you are obviously having coping issues, still fucking her and losing all sense of pride. Quit checking in to here, stop being such a pussy and lose your mayor status right away.
4. Methadone Clinic
You probably cannot afford a cell phone if you’re here and I am not sure how you can become the mayor on Foursquare here but um…yeah…enough said.
3. OB GYN Clinic
I know we have mentioned clinics through out this thoughtful list but I think it is imperative to understand that you better have damned good reason for being the Mayor of your OB GYN. If you are, I hope you’re pregnant, and they’re doing daily check ups to see how the baby is. Otherwise we’re pretty sure you’re having daily check ups on your HPV problem. I am almost certain that you can’t get discounts on your co-pay if you’re the mayor of Dr. Seymour Bush’s office.
2. The Olive Garden
Are you from the sticks? Did you ever hear of the no – carb diet. This is not your first time around and I know you can find a fine dining Italian restaurant. If you become the mayor of Olive Garden then you might not want to forget to become the mayor the your local Sizzler or Red Lobster.
1. Peep World NYC
A peep show…nothing like a quick 2 minute glance at a nice pair of tits and hot ass. Being the Foursquare peeper means that your the Foursquare creeper . If it just so happens that you are crowned the mayor of Peep World in NYC, we would have to think that you might be the guy that was roaming the social circles of Elliot Spitzer, Ashley Dupre and Marion Barry. Do the social networking world a favor and keep your one eyed monster and your Foursquare app deeeeeep inside your pocket – avoid the check in! (unless you get a discount)