3 Films to Help You Avoid Seeing John Carter This Weekend

john carter

You’re probably staring blankly at your newspaper listings, or whatever the modern day equivalent would be (likely, a site like Fandango) asking yourself the question, “Do I really need to go see John Carter?” The answer to that question is no. Even though the film has been self-proclaimed as the “first blockbuster of the season,” extremely high budgets shouldn’t equate to extremely high standards.

Boasting one of the least creative titles a film of this stature has ever had — one that makes Coach Carter seem like brilliant alliteration — John Carter is not a film you should feel bad about missing. Instead, I present you with three great alternatives that are currently in theaters to check out instead! I know you will make the right decision.

Silent House

silent house

A horror film that capitalizes on the new “found footage” craze, brought on by successes like Cloverfield, and more recently, Chronicle and Project X. Silent House however, doesn’t ram that down your throat by constantly referencing the camera’s presence, and instead just relies on the cinematographer’s ability to make you feel like you are actually in this horrifying house with the captivating Elizabeth Olsen.

Silent House is one of those good old-fashioned horror movies that makes you jump, scream and occasionally have to catch your breath. A very simply narrative, Silent House relies on visual style and environmental claustrophobia as its sources of terror, something that can’t be said about the average horror film nowadays. By choosing to ditch all the twists and turns that often ruin a solid concept, Silent House manages to deliver just the right amount of suspense to make a viewer feel like they got their money’s worth.

Grade: B

Friends With Kids

friends with kids

Friends With Kids feels a lot like Bridesmaids, which is a good thing. It’s not only because the characters it follows are more or less in the same age bracket as Annie and the girls. Friends With Kids also stars more or less the same exact cast as Bridesmaids, with Kristen Wiig and John Hamm returning as love interests, and Mia Rudolph returning as well, this time paired up with Chris O’Dowd who played the lovable cop in Bridesmaids.

The film, written and directed by its star, Jennifer Westfeldt, is a well-balanced comedy that speaks true to the trials and tribulations of being a middle-aged woman whose biological clock might be running out. It also speaks to the men in the audience who might have a woman in their life who looks at them like the perfect friend, a friend too perfect to ever see in any other, more romantic way.

friends with kids

A very likeable cast has you happy to be along for the ride as they all come together for hilarious and emotional scenes. Edward Burns, who plays Westfeldt’s love interest in a supporting role is particularly likable, winning over not only the other male characters in the film, but the male characters in the audience as well. Burns nails it as that one of a kind guy you wouldn’t really be that upset about seeing your ex with. Even Megan Fox returns to the screen in one of her more down to earth and well-acted performances. It’s sad that this is the bar she has set, but…she didn’t ruin the movie and that is saying a lot for her.

All in all, Friends With Kids is an enjoyable, sweet comedy that both men and women will like, and might even learn something from. An outlandish concept in reality is brought to the screen in a true and realistic fashion, serving as a sociological study that is probably best played out on the screen, rather than in real life.

Grade: B+

Project X

If you haven’t seen Project X yet, what exactly are you waiting for.? It’s not one of those classic comedies like Old School that has you quoting it the minute you leave the theater (and for years to come), but it is a movie that will have you in a state of enjoyment and dare I say, ectascy for its entire running time. They do a great job of pulling off the “found footage” camera style, and for this particular movie, it really makes you feel like you were AT that party. Much more so than you felt present during Cloverfield or Chronicle.

Project X will have you planning your next party during you walk back to the car. It will have those in high school and college going to sleep thanking their lucky stars that in a way, for them, at least for a bit longer, this life is still entirely possible

Grade: A-