When you were younger, you needed your parent’s help for almost everything. But as you got older and learned from them, your grew in both size and independence. For many people, by the time they reach 18-years-old, they’re ready to spread their wings and try living life on their own. But although you might feel ready for this, your parents might still see you as their little baby who needs them for every little thing. Because this way of thinking is so common, on both the parts of the young adults and their parents, many young adults struggle with knowing how to get their parents to start treating them like an adult rather than as their child anymore. So to help you in this area, here are three tips for transitioning your relationship with your parents as you become an adult.
Act Like A Fellow Adult
To get your parents to see you as an adult, you have to start acting like one. According to the editors of Reader’s Digest, it can be helpful to start viewing your relationship with your parents in the same way you’d view any relationship with another adult of their age. Then, when you interact with them, do so as if you were interacting with one of their friends. While this might seem strange at first, it can be very helpful in getting both parties to think about their relationship in a new light.
Create Clear Boundaries When You Need Them
One of the biggest complaints that many young adults have about their relationship with their parents is that they still try to be too involved in their life. To combat this, Susan Newman, a contributor to U.S. News and World Report, recommends that you set clear boundaries with your parents when you need them. For example, if you don’t want your parents to comment on your academic life or your romantic relationships, let them know that these topics are off-limits and that you won’t talk about them. While you can change these boundaries in the future, they can be very important to help your parents to know what’s not okay anymore when interacting with you.
Don’t Ask For Advice Unless You’re Ready To Receive It
It can be very hard to adjust the parent-child dynamic, even when you become an adult yourself. For many children, they still feel the need to counsel with their parents or get their advice about things. If this is something you’re still wanting, Maud Purcell, a contributor to PsychCentral.com, recommends that you only ask for their advice if you actually want it and will use it. So if you don’t actually want your parents to know why you got in that car accident last week, don’t call them asking about how to handle your issues with your insurance carrier.
If you’re ready for your parents to start seeing you as the adult you are, consider using the tips mentioned above to help your relationship move into this next phase of life.