deuce bigelow

Gigolo [jig-oh-lo] (n.)  You may remember this word from the ever popular movie Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo and its lackluster sequel. The French derived word is commonly used to define a man receiving financial support from a woman in exchange for that good good. Ladies, don’t think you are exempt from this completely ethical and legal way to support yourself. MTV exploited you when True Life: I’m a Sugar Baby premiered. Gigolo, Sugar Baby, Prostitute, whatever you want to call it, remember that this is NOT a relationship, but more of a mutual agreement. However, if you’re unsure about whether that Cartier watch you received was a gift or your salary for the week. Here are 4 signs to look for.


 1. Your Significant Other is At Least 7 Years Older Than You.

It’s typically older, more established people looking to relive their youth, that indulge in the services of a gigolo. They want to feel the spunk and energy, they used to have pre-menopause. And what near senior citizen isn’t checking for that young twenty-something year old? Your partner could have easily approached you with  “Im drawn to your intelligence and maturity.” but in reality they spotted your tight ass and wrinkle free skin and had to get a piece. So if your friends and family are frowning at your grey-haired, arthritis-ridden lover, take into account that age is a little more than a number.


2.You Do All The Work During Sex

sex positions

Missionary, Doggy Style, Reverse Cowgirl you do it all, but your partner just lays there. It would be understandable if they were disinterested in the sex or not attracted to you, but that fact that they want to go at it (sort of) all day every day tells you otherwise. Any type of sex enhancement pill should be a red flag! Your partner is probably out of touch with their sexual needs and desires and therefore relies on you to bring the heat. If  your abs of steal have appeared courtesy of your nightly “cardio workout”, thank your client—  I mean lover.


3. You Receive Ridiculously Expensive Payments Gifts


You just received an all expenses paid trip to Cabo in a private jet. No you didn’t win big on Wheel of Fortune. Your significant other shelled out cold hard cash for your and your friends to get chocolate wasted in a foreign country. But, it’s not your birthday, anniversary, Christmas, or Valentines Day… what’s the occasion? Afraid that you might hurt yourself from thinking about it any harder, Ill give you a hint. There is NO OCCASION! These so called gifts come included in the contract that is your relationship. You put it down in the bedroom, they provide you with all the financial support you need. If you work hard enough, you can go to college for free! Not that I would know anything about it.  (clears throat).


4.You Go On Boring Dates

Its never a matter of what you want to do. Dates always consist of boring shit that can put you to sleep in minutes. You can’t count how many times you’ve had to accompany your partner to the ballet, opera, or ballroom dancing. When you’re partner decides to shake things up a bit, you go to see a (wait for it) silent movie. As a gigolo, you serve as an escort that always provides the client with a happy ending.  So when you start singing along to Carmen, the opera. I think its pretty clear what your job is.


Hopefully these 4 signs cleared up any confusion you had about your role in your “relationship” Gigolos and Sugar Babies are all the rage these days so don’t feel ashamed if you are apart of this growing population of young men and women. Just know that this “occupation” has a lifespan of about 5-10 years depending on how you age so if you’re already seeing signs of wrinkles or gray hairs, it’s probably time to throw in the towel.

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