5 Likely Outcomes of Co-Ed Dorms, for Dudes

coed dorms

In the wake of the now infamous Tyler Clementi incident, Rutgers University will now allow students the option of living in Co-Ed Dorms. In a gesture of reconciliation with the gay, lesbian and trans-gender community, Rutgers hopes to create a more comfortable situation for  certain students. Rutgers will become one many recent universities to offer  “gender-neutral” housing. So what do co-ed dorms mean for you? Here are a couple of interesting  situations that could result from dorming with someone of the opposite sex. Enjoy Socialites!!

Neutral – Platonic Friend

threes company

This could be bad and good. It’s nice having a girl (pause) friend around sometimes, and dorming together could (and I emphasize could) make it even better. She’ll have her girlfriends over all the time, and provided their drunk enough, being the only guy in the room could be just good enough. Just know that the expectations for cleanliness, air quality, and clothing worn are about to get a lot more strict. Instead of your Maxim calendar, it’s puppy of the month, and instead of late night Skinemax, it’s “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” (eh, just as good). You could make it work, but make sure you weigh your options first.

Good – Girlfriend You Like

You have that awesome girlfriend. She’s hot, she likes good music, good movies, and best of all, she bangs like a jack rabbit. Co-ed dorms are the proverbial jackpot for you my friend. No more trying to get your hermit roommate to leave his World Of Warcraft screen for an hour (or more likely 10 minutes), or fucking in the shower at 5 in the morning while you listen to some dude puking in the next stall. Sure, you’ll fight once in a while, but 90% of the time you’ll be riding high, and since she’s so awesome, she’ll totally understand when you need your space. It’s just you, your girl, and a room to yourself 24 hours a day. Do it up man!

Not So Good – Girlfriend You Hate

bad relationship

We’ve all been there. You love her and everything, or at least you tell everyone you do, but man – is she a pain in the ass. Formerly, your dorm room was a place of sanctuary, a fortress of solitude. No more my friend. Expect a lot of all-night fighting, and even more all night sexless cuddle sessions. Get used to it man. You’re not going anywhere.

Really Bad – Girlfriend You Just Broke Up With

Buckle your seat belts, you have now entered the danger zone. We’ve all had a relationship turn sour, so we know how fast shit can go down. Now picture all the horrors of breaking up, and then having to be locked in a room with that person for the rest of the year. Sorry. Don’t think your bringing another girl back either. Your room is now sexually off limits, until of course she has too many Appletinis and brings a dude back. Sure enough, you will have to fight to the death, and nobody likes dealing with a body. Sure you can get back together but depending on the situation, that could be worse than uncomfortable silence. It’s bound to happen once or twice, when she stops by the room to change her shirt, and your right wrist is getting sore. The make-up sex will be awesome, but those 1 to 2 minutes won’t even put a dent into an entire year of hell.

Awesome! – No Strings Attached

dorm girl
It would have to be a combination of skill, luck, and divine decree, but if you happen to find your way into this situation, you are a man among men. Picture this: You are locked in a room, for an entire year, with a hot girl who loves to fuck, and you have no responsibility to whatsoever. It’s the next best thing to having your very own sex slave. There won’t be any fighting, or even cuddling when you’re not feeling it. Just awesome sex. And if you wanna bring another girl back, no big deal. I’ve seen many a porno that starts out that way. Let it ride my friend. You are a Golden God. Make your choice wisely though, and be weary of potential clingers. They’re out there man.





Tags : college livingdormingrutgers