5 Minutes of Royal Wedding Coverage from The Campus Socialite

The wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton has already happened (I guess I missed the actual service, because honestly, who the fudge wakes up that early?), and the fact that so many people in the world care about it boggles my mind. I’ve been watching throngs of people standing outside the palace for the past hour already (the wedding started at 11 AM GMT so that’s like 6 AM here), all of who are just walking or standing about.You can go to the Royal Channel on YouTube (Yes, the British monarchy has a YouTube channel) to see what I’m talking about. Of course this isn’t a surprise: The media hasn’t been able to shut up about this for the past few months and now it’s happened.

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So what did we see of the Royal wedding? Well, I’m watching right now, and all I see is the happily married couple waving from a balcony, with Queen Elizabeth in her stylish yellow dress and matching hat (OMG they just kissed! No one ever kisses! They just kissed AGAIN! That’s twice as much kissing!) So what now? How long do they stand around waving? Oh cool, a fly over! Aaaand they’re back inside. So congrats America – Anyone who wakes up at a normal time got about 2 minutes of live footage and now network television channels will show instant replays and make comments about their clothes for the next hour and a half minimum. Hey wait – Do we get to see the evening reception? That’s the fun part: Imagine royals gobbling shots and getting shwilly. I’m sure they like to kick back and have fun, too.

Unfortunately, that’s about all I’m willing to watch because now it’s just getting ridiculous (people in America taking off work and throwing Royal Wedding parties while dressed in stupid hats), but I’m sure you get the point. Prince William and Kate of Cambridge, I hope you guys have a great wedding day. I’m done.

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