The idea of snow, especially when we were kids, was awesome. It meant days off from school, delayed openings, and fun activities. However, now that we’re older, we notice how dirty the snow gets after a day or two, what a bitch it is to get our cars out of the driveway, and our parents threw out our sleds because they thought we were “too old” for that or something ridiculous. While blizzards can give each of us the opportunity to take a deserved break (since we can’t leave our house), the idea of staying in bed all day is only appealing to most of us for a few hours or so. Luckily, I have compiled a short list of things to keep you busy during a blizzard, since we certainly can expect more this winter.
Catch Up On 30 Rock
No, this does not have to be limited to just “30 Rock,” of course, though that is my television show of choice. Take this time to watch as many straight episodes as possible of that show you’ve been meaning to watch. Since you are literally stuck inside, cannot even shovel yet since it’s still coming down, and your friends are all stuck at their houses, too, this is one of the only times it’s completely acceptable to watch TV all day and not be called lazy for it. Take advantage.
Find A Website To Watch Movies Illegally
Unfortunately, Netflix does not have an unlimited selection of “watch instantly” movies and you’re tired of paying for movies On Demand. So what do you do? You go online and find a site that can allow you to watch these movies for free. Is this illegal? Yes, it potentially is, but if you do it sparingly enough, I’m sure nothing too terrible will happen to you. (And if it does, please don’t drop my name). So cozy up with some tea or hot cocoa, and watch that movie in bed for free.
Hunt Down The Old Sled (Or Use A PORTOPONG)
In case your parents didn’t throw out your old sled, now is the time to embrace those last glimpses of childhood. Run to the nearest hill by your house, alone or not, and sled down it. It is an exhilarating, nostalgic feeling. The only negative side is, of course, walking back up the hill. If you don’t have a sled, but you made that excellent purchase awhile back after reading our article, by all means use your PORTOPONG table. In case you missed the article, this is a portable, floatable beer pong table. Since it allows for some multi-tasking, practice some beer pong, then sled down that hill with the table.
Make White Russians – Alone, If Necessary
It is not really alcoholism if you’re making yourself a classy willytail. So break out the vodka, some Kahlua, and some of that milk before it goes sour. White Russians are the classiest winter-esque beverage on the planet in my opinion. Though it is technically an after-dinner drink, it is perfect for anytime of day during a blizzard.
Pass The Time The Old Fashioned Way…
If you live with a girlfriend or boyfriend, or they happen to live around the corner, you can easily pass the time the old fashioned way. No, I don’t mean by playing board games (unless that helps get it going), I mean through sex obviously. This is the most ancient way to pass the time, just be sure to wrap it up to avoid making some blizzard babies. However, if your girlfriend/boyfriend cannot get to you, never fear, because that’s what your hand is for. Or Darren the Dildo. So guys break out the lotion, and girls cozy up with Darren because this will make that blizzard much more…pleasurable.
If none of these things are appealing to you, then maybe you should check out 5 Stoner Moves For a Blizzard
