Fittingly, the 4th of July means 4 things: BBQ, Alcohol, Explosions, and Amuurica!!! I don’t know about you guys, but Daniel Caufield and the Socialite Crew are gonna be drinking, eating, and straight up partying from roughly 5:00 today, all the way until 8:00 Tuesday morning. That Socialites, is what the Founding Fathers fought for. However, don’t think because you’re at some dinky, backyard BBQ, it’s OK to drink just anything. For shame! It’s independence Day! You need to drink like a fucking Patriot! That’s why today, we’re bringing you the 5 Most American Drinks for Independence Day. Read well, get yourself a DD and party up.
Sam Adams Original Boston Lager
This one is obvious. What is more patriotic than a Beer named after the dude who lead the American Revolution? Nothing. Samuel Adams was a Patriot and a half, and as much as I hate Boston on any other day of the year, It was the site of the original Tea Party, the Boston Massacre, and a bunch of other Revolutionary events you have scrawled in your History notebook. Sam Adams is the way to go, but not just any Sam. Stay away from the Belgian rip-off Summer Ale, and the fruity Cherry Wheat. Americans drink Lager, and Sam’s Boston Lager is one of the best in The States. Drink up.
Straight Kentucky Bourbon
Save your Appletinis for Russian Independence Day. Better yet, I have a Vagina Day. This is America day, and you need some American Liquor. Not only is Bourbon the official liquor of the United States, It’s damn fucking good. You could go with a Rye or a Sour Mash (Jack Daniels). All three are native to the USA. Bourbon however, happens to be my personal favorite, and perfect for a hot summer day. Try Maker’s Mark (pictured) or Booker’s. Have it with coke, a few ice cubes, or the way I drink it, in a glass. Two or three, and you will be in full out party mode. Just let someone else handle the fireworks.
California White Wine
Old World Wines (European) get all the glitz and glam, but that doesn’t mean America doesn’t have a horse in the race. California, specifically Napa Valley, is one of the biggest Wine producers in the world, and the region has gotten a lot more popular in the last few decades. A big wine drinker will tell you a good wine is good on any day, but you’re totally forgiven for not wanting to sip on a room temperature Red while it’s 100 degrees outside. White is best served cold, perfect for the summer. My personal favorite is Savingnon Blanc. It’s light and fruity with just enough acidity. Try Robert Mondavi (Pictured), or for something a bit cheaper, Barefoot. If you like sweeter, go Riesling. More bitter, go Chardonnay. Get wasted, and look classy as fuck doing it.
For those who listened in History Class, or caught Boardwalk Empire on HBO, you may know of a period in American history called Prohibition. Hard to believe, but at one point, alcohol of any kind was illegal in America. Damn Puritans! Moonshine is essentially just illegally made Whiskey. It is a little grittier and has way more alcohol. If you’re from up here, you might have to head South to snag a bottle of this bold spirit. You could try to distill some in your basement bathtub, but fireworks won’t be the only thing exploding. If you don’t get to taste any White Lightning this year, don’t worry. Best left to the pros.
Mix It All Together
America is a melting pot. Different cultures, different languages, regional quirks and dialects. What better way to celebrate living in the most diverse country on Earth than to take all of the aforementioned alcohol goodness and mix it all together. It might not taste like Coca Cola, but if the proportions are right, you could have a wine drunk, whiskey drunk, and beer drunk going all at once. That my friends, Is America! For best results, use a big metal bowl, add some ice, and tell everyone it’s Party Punch. Best party you’ve ever been to. Guaran-damn-teed.