Awfully Named Athletes: The New Class (Part I)

Just a few weeks ago we proudly rolled out our “Sports Name Hall of Shame” feature in which we poked fun directly at the expense of some of our favorite athletes with vulgar last names.  Not to anyone’s surprise, the response to that list was overwhelmingly positive – however nobody at The Campus Socialite ever thought we would field so many requests for more embarrassingly inappropriate surnames.  As always is the policy with our readers: ask and you shall receive.  We have dug through countless media guides and team yearbooks and uncovered 10 more jerseys that bear a name on the back that will always shame the man or woman underneath.  You think you know, you have no idea, here are the first five awfully named athletes…

10. De’Cody Fagg

Former Florida State stare wideout was known as one of the most reliable, physical receivers for the Seminoles in his time in Tallahassee. De’Cody’s name, however, makes him even more interesting of a player. His first name, an normal American name with a “De” and an apostrophe tagged on, is followed by a slur that would otherwise not be permitted on television.

9. Homer Bush

This former Yankee, Blue Jay and Marlin takes the number 9 spot on the list. Bush grew into the game as a rookie in 1994, was cut by the Marlins in 2002 and pretty much fell off after that. Bush, always trim throughout his career, never quite reached his hitting potential and managers never quite seemed certain how to use Bush effectively. Bush eventually became obsolete. His first name, Homer, short for Home Run, is the root of the term “all the way,” a term youngsters use to describe love-making.

8. Irina Slutskaya

The Russian figure skater, Irina Slutskaya, won the European championship in 1996 and 1997. Although in Russian, her name is probably pronounced differently than it looks, embedded within Irina’s last name is one of the more offensive words aimed at women. Slutskaya didn’t go all the way in the 1998 Nagano Olympics, finishing in fifth place in her competition. Falls like the one pictured above do not help her shed the promiscuous image that her last name has cast over her career.

7. Albert Pujols

Arguably the best hitter in baseball, Pujols represents the only Latin-American on the top 10 list. This is important because if Albert’s surname is spoken with a Spanish accent, it is pronounced “poo-holes”. This places him in the scatological subcategory of the list with one other athlete (the yet to be named #5 to be reveald on Wednesday). The Dominican slugger has won the Rookie of the Year and three MVP awards, which means he’s definitely not the shittiest athlete on the countdown.

6.Ron Tugnutt

Tugnutt enjoyed success as goalie for 16 years and 6 teams in the NHL. Born Ronald Frederick Tugnutt in Ontario, Canada, he played in one NHL All-Star Game and represented Canada in the 1993 Hockey World Championships. His given name, Ron, is average in every way, however, his last name Tugnutt, could be confused for a verb and a noun that when used together, would describe the male act of self-fulfillment.

That should satisfy your hunger for profane names for now.  Drop back in on Thursday as we round out the list of awfully named athletes.

Tags : Albert PujolsAthletesFunny NamesHomer BushIrina SlutskayaLast NamesRon TugnuttSurnames