We pleased a large portion of our reading audience on Monday by continuing our report on athletes who really need to head down to city hall to file for a name change. Cue the laugh track because we are rounding out the list of shitty names today.
5. Dick Trickle
For many sports fans, his is about as good as it gets. Dick Trickle, known as “America’s Winningest Driver,” began racing on the short-track circuit in 1958. The vile nature of his name made Trickle a common joke on Sportscenter in the 1990s. The idea of a trickle–a slow, irregular flow of a liquid–following “Dick” in a man’s name–conjures up themes of bathroom activities and venereal disease.
4. Dick Butkus
This NFL Hall-of-Famer boasts a moniker so dirty that each syllable of his name are individually dirty. Well that’s not true. I guess “kus” isn’t dirty…unless it comes after “But”! Dick’s last name, Butkus, is pronounced “but-kiss” which could mean the physical act of smooching the buttocks or the slangy meaning of being overly flattering. Either way, when “Butkus” is preceded by “Dick”, its meaning doesn’t really matter. It just becomes the last part of a dirty, dirty name.
3. Assol Slivets
As the third athlete on the list, though lesser-known, Slivets has one of the dirtiest names in the history of sports. The freestyle skier from Belarus competed in the 2006 Olympics in Turin finishing 5th in the women’s aerial ski competition. Oh yeah, and her first name is Assol.
2. Johnny Dickshot
Born John Oscar Dickshot in Waukegan, Illinois, Dickshot played outfield for 3 teams from 1936 to 1945. Johnny’s last name is one of the more dynamic on the list as “shot” is somewhat sport-related and “dick” is somewhat funny. Johnny also had a nickname, “Ugly”, which is strange because the concept of a dickshot is so lovely. Dickshot died in Waukegan in 1997.
1. Chubby Cox
The new class’s number one dirtiest name in sports is Chubby Cox. Born John Arthur Cox III, Chubby was a standout at the University of San Francisco in the ’70s and was drafted by the Bulls in 1978. Cox only played in 7 NBA games, for the Washington Bullets in 1983. Chubby couldn’t cut it on the professional level and spent his post-playing years teaching and coaching youths in the San Francisco area. But what matters most about him is that his name is Chubby Cox.
Feel free to chime in with any other ludicrous and vulgar sports names in our comments section below.