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Sex and RelationshipsUniversity of Miami

Bad Texters: How to Ruin Your Relationship in 160 Characters or Less

By: Meredith Sparks

The most important couple of 2010 so far is undoubtedly Ronnie and Sammi the Sweetheart of MTV’s controversial “The Jersey Shore”.  The most recent episode was a memorable one that included zoo animals, GTL and boardwalk fights, but the scene where Ronnie and Sammi get into a guido-licious fight over his comment on her Bedrock-like feet got me thinking about relationships these days.  It really is so easy to push girls over the edge in relationships and even a harmless jab at Sammi’s Fred Flintstone big toe rocked the fragile balance of Seaside Height’s first couple.  Stupid comments oftentimes fuel unnecessary lovers’ quarrels, but it’s amazing how many fights stem from the common disorder that thrives in the male college population:  BAD TEXTING.

Out generation’s lives have been flooded with technology since elementary school (Tamagotchis anybody?), so there’s no excuse for anybody in college to be a grade-A f*cktard when it comes to texting.  Guys should text girls, no questions asked.  I am a fan of the Facebook group “I’m The Girl.  You’re The Boy.  You Text Me First Or We Don’t Talk Today” and with almost a million fans, I think it’s time for boys to grow a pair and take 30 seconds out of their bong hits and back-to-back South Park episodes to shoot their girl a text.  The time of day that a guy texts a girls also says a lot about their relationship: if homeboy is texting you at 2 AM, it’s a booty call sort of thing, but if you are getting texts before 5 PM, it might just be love.  I know that some people might find this hard to believe, but texting is a form of conversation, which means that it needs to go both ways.  “Hey” isn’t a conversation starter, it’s a complete waste of a text and it shows that the boy doesn’t have the brainpower to initiate a real conversation.  And what girl doesn’t hate the other one word texts other than “hey”, such as “yes”, “no”, and the dreaded “k”?  Most phones allow at least 160 characters in a text, so don’t be stingy.  Texting actually provides an easy in for shyer guys because they aren’t having to endure nerve-racking face-to-face conversations and you can actually think out a text before you blurt out something ludicrous.

The worst case of bad texting is the guy that takes years to respond to your text.  I understand if you are in the shower or at a movie or at the dinner table, but there’s no reason why it should take 3 hours for you to respond to a text and boys are the worst when it comes to this situation.  Ya’ll might as well just glue your phones to your dicks if that’s what it’ll take for ya’ll to text a bitch back promptly.  I understand that boys don’t really think about anything 75% of the time and the other 25% of the time they are thinking about sex, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been around my boyfriend and his phone will go off and he doesn’t even flinch.  The fact that boys’ brains aren’t focused and can barely think past the next 15 minutes means that ringtone that went off on their phone 2 minutes ago will continue to be ignored during the following 5 hour Halo marathon.  My best friend has been dating her boyfriend for over 2 years and they’ll get in knock out, drag out fights over his poor texting reaction time.  And if we’re talking long-distance, different school relationships, texting can be a major deal breaker when it comes to the success of the relationship.  Since most guys aren’t romantic enough and can’t be moved to send flowers or write a love letter to their distant amour, texting is a simple, quick way to show that you are thinking about your lover and it’s a great way to stay up to date with each other’s lives.

The point is that in every relationship the old cliché really holds that it’s the little things that count and they help to form a solid base of love and trust.  Texting is undoubtedly a small, insignificant thing when looking at the big picture, but let’s not forget the other cliché of the straw that broke the camel’s back.  And don’t get me wrong, most girls would rather a guy call her and have a deep, meaningful conversation, but that’s usually asking too much, which is why texting is a quick, easy fix.  So boys in order to make sure that you continue to get your bed rocked and that your girl doesn’t end up Fred Flinstoning your ass, it’s as simple as sending a sweet text message.

Tags : BoyfriendsGirlfriendsJersey ShorePhonesText Messaging