Conan O’Brien has recently come out and announced his new show, the aptly titled “Conan.” The show premieres November 8th on TBS. Now, although I’m personally not a huge fan of TBS or its marketing strategy “very funny,” I think this might have been a really good move. Here’s a promotional video featuring a very seductive CoCo:
Conan’s move from network to cable (possibly allowing for more raunchy material than ever before) prompts me to wonder whether some of Conan’s more famous skits, sketches, and characters are coming with him to TBS, or if they’re lost forever in the stranglehold of NBC. Whatever the case may be, here is a list of comedy gold from the talk show host’s career thus far:
9. Best Of Conan: Triumph The Insult Comic Dog
Okay you got me. I didn’t want to put this little guy on there because I feel like he’s the obvious favorite, and I rather root for the underdog (no pun intended). But what would a countdown of Conan’s best sketches be without him? It would be incomplete. Behind the cigar smoking hand puppet is Robert Smigel, the writer who was also famous for creating The Ambigeously Gay Duo on Saturday Night Live. Everyone loves a roast, and this smack-talking dog spouts a million insults a minute, to whoever is within the view of the camera. Classic.
8. Best Of Conan: The Walker, Texas Ranger Lever
When NBC bought Universal in 2004, they also acquired the rights to Chuck Norris’ television show. Conan took advantage of it by incorporating a Walker, Texas Ranger Lever into his desk. He would pull it and supposedly random, out-of-context clips would play. Most of the time they involved Norris performing some highly improbable and unrealistic feat of heroism. Some memorable examples? How about Walker tasting some dirt and determining that a plane had crashed there, or a young Haley Joel Osmont declaring “Walker told me I have AIDS.”
7. Best Of Conan: Pierre Bernard’s Recliner of Rage
The main source of hilarity in this skit is the manner in which graphic designer Bernard is enraged: He sits back comfortably in his recliner and delivers his frustration (most of the time involving something sci-fi, anime, or comic book-related, but in this case mallomars) in the most dry, emotionless way possible, before delcaring “Bottom line, America…,” shifting the chair into its upright position (and thus his attitude from a state of calm rage to preachy geekiness) and stating his final thoughts on the matter directly towards the camera.
6. Best Of Conan: New Characters
We all love Conan’s syndicated characters like the Masturbating Bear, Vomiting Kermit and the Fed-Ex Pope, but nothing is better than when Conan is on the hunt for new ridiculous characters. The fast-paced nature of this skit coupled with just how outrageous some of the characters are make it a minute of nonstop laughter. Want some examples of the absurd characters that made appearances? How about: “Screeching Raccoon with a Jet Pack,” “Cactus Chef Playing ‘We Didn’t Start the Fire’ on the Flute,” “Oscillating Air Purifier that Looks Like Slash,” or the incredibly descriptive “Gorilla Nurse Using an Old-Fashioned Abdominal Exerciser While Listening to ‘Angel of the Morning’ by Juice Newton.” Yes, it looks exactly like how it sounds.
5. Best Of Conan: Anything Max Weinberg-Related
Unfortunately, as you may have already heard, Max will not be moving to TBS with Conan. He’s off pursuing his music interests. But the rest of the band will be returning, led by guitarist Jimmy Vivino. Conan’s back-and-forth with Weinberg always resulted in comedic gold: Most of the time involving Max’s sick sexual indiscretions, and ending in a perverse stare from both men. At least we still have LaBamba, the horn player who is constantly the butt of Conan’s jokes.
4. Best Of Conan: Conan’s Zipline Bonanza
During the Writers’ Strike, CoCo did what he saw fit. One of the highlights of this period was an epic fight between Conan, Jon Stewart, and Stephen Colbert. But one moment was so funny that it outshined most of the written material in the show’s history: Conan fulfilling his dream of ziplining to the stage over the crowd. It was such a success that it was repeated several times with different fan-suggested additions. He tried strapping rockets to his feet and ziplining into a set of bowling pins. And then the skit climaxed when a re-enactment of the assassination of Abraham Lincoln was performed on stage. Conan flew through the crowd just in time to save Honest Abe from death by colliding with John Wilkes Booth.
3. Best Of Conan: In the Year 2000/3000
This skit is perhaps one of the most well-known Conan skits. It involves Conan and his guest star (or Andy Richter) donning black robes, futuristic collars, and menacing flashlights while making predictions of events to come in the near-future. At the end, Conan and his guest make harrowing predictions of each others’ futures. Spooky. Some fantastic one-liners from the sketch: “Colgate will come out with a new toothpaste that not only whitens teeth, but makes them Anglo-Saxon Protestant,” “Kevin Costner will be forced to make a sequel to For the Love of the Game, entitled ‘For the Love of God, Stop Making Movies,'” and “Bill Paxton and Bill Pullman will finally give up and decide to become the same guy.”
2. Best Of Conan: Celebrity Secrets
Ever want to know something about a celebrity that you never knew before? Then this skit is for you. Basically, a featured celebrity is put in a dark room with alcohol and cigarettes, where they reveal “secrets” previously unknown about them. Some classics include Tom Hanks revealing that his name is actually Hank Toms, Patrick Stewart declaring “I know what you are wondering and the answer is yes, the curtains do match the carpet” and Michael Caine stating “I was convinced that the ‘MC’ in MC Hammer’s name stood for Michael Caine. When I found out it didn’t I destroyed his career.”
1. Best Of Conan: Bugatti Veyron Mouse
When Conan had officially decided to step down from The Tonight Show, he added a slew of daring new characters. He declared that since NBC still had to pay for all of his sketches, he would create the most expensive characters to ever appear on the show. So he slapped some large felt ears on the world’s most expensive car, a Bugatti Veyron, and called it the Bugatti Veyron Mouse. On top of that, Conan purchased the rights to play The Rolling Stones’ “Satisfaction” when the character premiered. The whole 15 seconds of rodent-themed autombile cost the network $1.5 million, making it the single most expensive skit ever on The Tonight Show. Take that NBC!
