It’s once again Thursday afternoon my bag still has dirty clothes in it from New Orleans and I have been drinking out of the hand grenade cup with every meal. Loyola New Orleans was one hell of a time, but it’s time to get back on that horse and put on my drinking boots and head south. I got an email this week from a dude at Clemson claiming that the Tigers are the kings of partying down south. I know Clemson has made it to some top party school lists but throwing out the line of kings of the south is a bold statement. This afternoon I’m taking advice from everyone’s favorite Guido’s on The Jersey Shore and doing a little GTL…Gym, Turkey Sandwich (there’s no tanning for me), Laundry and then heading towards Clemson. Big things to live up to this weekend, all I know is that when I googled Clemson this girl showed up (picture after the jump)….this might be a solid weekend after all.
Hopefully I will be shacking up with good old number 6 above, but if that fails I got to have a spot to crash for the weekend. Like always, I want my landing spot to be as close to the bars as possible for multiple reason (if you have to ask why, I hear the Lifetime Channel has a great blog go check it out). A good spot to crash this weekend is the Hampton Inn (851 Tiger Blvd), its a little over a mile to the bars, affordable rate, and they serve free breakfast in the morning. Now that you have your hotel and breakfast for the weekend taken care of time to get down to business which means making a complete ass out of yourself all weekend and consuming enough alcohol to kill a small horse. Let the shitshow begin and follow me as I see what Clemson is all about.
Friday January 21- TTT Shooters On The House
Now before going down to Clemson for a weekend of drinking and grinding up on anything with a heartbeat know this, Clemson is located in the Bible Belt of the south (I have been warned multiple times already and now I am passing on the info). Well I guess my initial plan of going to Clemson to find hookers and set up a drug smuggling ring is busted, looks like im just going to have to settle for sorority girls and cheap beer all weekend. I like to start the weekend off in style and let everyone know me and my crew will be swinging the long dick all weekend on your college campus. Great spot to eat dinner tonight is at Pixie & Bill’s (1058 Tiger Blvd). Dress appropriate for a nice dinner, get your drink on and enjoy the the South Carolina Steakhouse. After your feast, grab a Redbull to wake your ass up and get out of that food coma because were heading to Tiger Town Tavern. One of the popular bars at Clemson, TTT will be packed out with students looking to spend their parents money on shots with cool names. TTT offers a huge menu called TTT Shooters sure to get you hammered and the girls love these rather than ripping shots of warm tequila all night. Some of the favorite TTT Shooters include Bong Hit, Demerol and Surfer on Acid (whoever thought of these names must have been under the assumption that Clemson is an Ivy League school). Enough demerol shooters and I’m pretty sure every girl in the bar will be acceptable to hook up with, just remember that you have been drinking shots called demerol all night before thinking the 250 pounder would be ok to wake up next to.
Saturday January 22- Tiger Hoops & TD’s
Yup I know exactly how your morning is going to go… you wake up on the floor of your hotel room in total confusion ass naked, look around and see your buddy in bed with some random chick then look over to your bed and realize why you woke up on the floor. The 250 pounder is taking up your entire bed and she definitely looks better with clothes on…it’s ok to make a mad dash to the bathroom at this point. Your going to need about a gallon of orange Gatorade this morning to wash the taste out from last night, don’t worry though it’s Saturday morning and the weekend has just begun. Today is a huge day for the Clemson Men’s Hoops team, as the #16 Tigers take on the #6 Duke Blue Devils in a prime time ACC showdown. Before game time tonight check out the town and the campus, all the people down here are pretty friendly and who knows you could even end up getting an invite to a Sorority party later tonight. After the day head back to the hotel to chill, shower and get dressed for the night that lies ahead. Littlejohn Coliseum will be bumping tonight, get a few beers in before the game and enjoy one of the best games of the season. Game should let out around 11:30 which means its prime time to hit the bar. Everyone will be looking to party as it is Saturday night and hopefully celebrating a huge win as well, the best spot tonight is TD’s (347 College Ave). $5 pitchers all night would bring me to a bar even if I was the only person in it, but thats not even an issue at TD’s. This is one of Clemson’s big spots and sure to be a banger tonight after a huge bball game. After your display last night and “little” incident this morning you might want to be a little picky as to who you will be bringing home tonight. Don’t think I will be playing wingman I’m still looking for number 6 from above tonight, your on your own fucker. If there’s no good looking tail around and you don’t feel like embarrassing yourself again with another stump troll theres always late night eats. The late night spot for all Clemson kids is Todaro Pizza on Sloan Street. Awesome late night food and I hear the garlic knots are sick… skip the knots if you plan on bringing home that chick from the bar though.
Sunday January 23- Conference Championships @ Griffins
With college football over and just two weeks left of the NFL did you really think I could go the entire weekend without tuning into the best game on the planet? The conference championships are today and both games could turn into instant classics. I suggest booking your plane ticket for late tonight so you don’t miss any of the games. Your watering hole and grub spot for today is Griffins Sports Bar (199 Old Greenville Highway), great spot to watch the game and centrally located so your not dropping loot on a taxi. The games start at 3 but get to the bar early so you can guarantee a seat. My pick for the the big game is Jets against the Vikings, got to stick to my NY roots and hope Favre gets laid out for bailing on his team from last year. You know what Clemson it looks like you are going to live up to the expectations, enjoy the weekend and keep living the dream….
Huge weekend next week with two of the biggest parties in the nation going down…check me out same time next week to see which one is the spot to be at!