Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back! Winter break is a rap, dust off the old funnel, stock the fridge with cheap beer and prepare for an absolute shitshow of an opening weekend. Sure it was great to be home, have good food always around and not have to worry about wearing sandals in the shower, but that probably lasted a whole three days before you needed school to start up again. I promise you shitty keg beer and random hookups don’t get better than the first weekend back and to do it in style this weekend I am heading down to The Big Easy, New Orleans. No it’s not Mardi Gras yet, and no the campus I am hitting up is not Tulane (don’t worry Tulane you are locked in already for Campus Of The Week during Mardi Gras), instead I will be holding it down with the Loyola University New Orleans Wolfpack. Loyola NO gets overshadowed by Tulane but this school holds it down with the best. For some reason the legal age for alcohol intake doesn’t apply in this area and it is basically 18 to drink not to mention this campus makes it to all the top party school lists every year. I will be rolling in this weekend with my own Wolfpack when some of the Campus Socialite crew join me to find out what they are really paying me for. My response to convince them to take the trip: “I thought…wait a second, could it be. And now I know for sure, I just added 2 more guys to my wolf pack. 4 of us wolves running around the desert together, in Las Vegas (well in this case New Orleans) looking for strippers and cocaine.”
Before you hit the road you need to figure out where you drunken ass will be passing out. New Orleans is a cool town but there are definitely better places to stay than others. The best spot to stay for the best value is The Renaissance Arts Hotel (700 Tchoupitoulas St). Sick location, clean hotel, and they have a pool on the roof so you could always drop the line at the bar “lets go back to my pool”. There are bars directly across the street and the street car uptown which is the best way to travel around. Now that you have a sick pad for the weekend it’s time to party, eat some bayou grub and make horrible decisions you will immediately regret once sober.
Friday January 15- Watch Out For The Hand Grenades At Tropical Isle
Your flight/broken down car gets into town late afternoon, the last thing you want to do is go looking around for the best party spots tonight so take my suggestions and you will be ripping shots and making out with complete strangers before you know it. Grab some Nola grub at Antoine’s Restaurant, one of the oldest spots serving classic creole food. Oysters Rockafella are the move here and they are known to be an aphrodisiac, like you really need any help or motivation to get laid. Once your done stuffing down the viagra of the sea time to get shitty and see what kind of slop you can grind up on. The best bet for a shitshow and must for anyone coming down here for the first time is Tropical Isle, it’s the home to the official drink of Bourbon Streets famous Hand Grenades. If you have never had these things picture one of those huge spring break drinks but triple the amount of alcohol. The bar is a shit hole jazz spot so grab your drink listen to some tunes and enjoy yourself. After about two of these hand grenades your not going to remember much and will love the jazz going on that twenty minutes ago you couldn’t stand. Stumble back on to Bourbon street and see where the night takes you, there are loads of awesome chill bars on the strip to hit up just try and avoid all voodoo ladies on the street (I don’t trust that shit). If you can still see straight and are looking for some late night eats Angeli On Decatur is the spot to be. Chill staff with more piercing than I have ever seen, good food and they serve cheap drinks just incase your still sober.
Saturday January 16- In Brees & House Music We Trust
Hopefully that voodoo lady that you fucked with late night last night has not put a spell on you and hopefully that spell doesn’t involve you waking up next to her. No matter who or what you brought home last night, it’s time to get your shit together because it’s gameday. Last week when I was at USC I hooked up with some very classy broad (I say this because I never caught her name and am not even sure I spoke legible english at that point) , however I do remember her saying something “Why do you always have to go to a football game every weekend”. This immediately reminded me of two things 1) I love being single and an absolute maniac 2) I stop listening to people especially college girls (and forget their names) when they question football.In what is sure to be an offensive shootout the Saints host the Cardinals. I have never been to the Superdome for a Saints game but I hear the fans are insane so you bet your ass I will be rocking a Brees jersey. The game kicks off at 4:30, but the tailgate before will be going all morning and afternoon and will be just as insane as the actual game. For this you have two options, go to the Superdome pound beers and eat some gumbo or hit up a local bar in walking distance until the game starts. Since I’m in New Orleans just for the weekend I will be at the Superdome tailgating like a veteran, if you want to hit up a bar before my suggestion is go to Parsol’s Bar (2533 Constance St) cool sports bar and should be wild before the game. Whether the Saints win or lose, the atmosphere around town is going to be insane. Your going to be hungry before heading out for the night and there is really no time to go back to the hotel, this day is a marathon and only the true lush’s will make it through. Awesome spot to continue drinking and get some kick ass food is Yo-Mama’s Bar & Grill. Since your body probably feels like it just got done with with an actual marathon and your head weighs more than the girl you brought home last night, you got to get your protein hits with dinner so order the famous Peanut Butter Bacon Burger. This thing will either put you in a food coma for the rest of the night or bring you back to life…sometimes you got to roll the dice. To close out the night a solid bet for a good time is Circle Bar (1032 St. Charles Ave), cool rocker bar but small venue so it’s guaranteed to be packed out.
Sunday January 17- Start The Semester Off With A Rager
After two straight days and nights of bingeing its time to get you back to full speed…orange gatorade and a shower. Today there is no rush so kick it, relax a little and try to get that pain in your liver to stop for a few hours. Depending on what your into there’s a ton of things to do around town. New Orleans is an old city and everything down there always seems haunted or has a weird vibe. There are tours all over town to go walk around to “haunted sites”, if thats what your into. Personally, I came here to drink and party if I wanted to learn about history I would have actually attended my World Civ 101 class. There’s two great NFL games on today so my suggestion would be to just chill at a bar or the hotel and watch the games. Once the afternoon dies down and the games/ghost tours are over its time to head back to the hotel shower and get ready for another shitshow of a night. Mothers Restaurant is a great way to close out the weekend with an awesome meal Nola style.Any Poboy is a great choice here, its basically just a fried seafood sandwich not sure why they had to get all french with it and name it a Poboy. After hitting the town all weekend and getting a huge mix of people it’s time to party with the students of Loyola U. There’s no class on Monday so everyone will be looking to reap the benefits of the day off and rage out. Huge party tonight at Cafe Prytania and no cover charge which is always awesome plus it’s 18+ to get in (some crazy law I guess that only applies in New Orleans which is awesome). Tons of $2 drink specials all night long so kick it here and see what this school really offers when it comes to partying. This is your last night here so go out with a bang, get shitty bring home a girl you will never see again…just make sure she is at least 18 you know there’s some slutty ass high school chicks using a fake 18 id to get in.
Hopefully you enjoy the start of the semester as much as I will, school is finally back in session and the greatest place on earth is once again in full swing. Now that everyone is back on campus I am looking for the craziest house parties for The Campus Of The Week, hit me up if you think your school can hold its own. Until next week keep living the dream…