Welcome back all you Campus Socialites to everyones favorite weekly article Campus Of The Week. I took a few days off last week after a straight binge at Mardi Gras and needed some time to kick it over the weekend (I’m pretty sure waking up in the morning and feeling like a horse kicked you in the kidneys is a bad sign). I started my weekend off on Wednesday night this week in NYC with a few of my boys from back home. The Campus Socialite hooked me up with some comped VIP tickets to see David Guetta at Pacha in Manhattan. There’s nothing like walking directly into a mega club and seeing all the douche bags standing on line giving you a look like how the hell did this asshole get right in… apparently they missed the message that I am Tyler R. Spaulding and I STLD. Anyway, rolled up to this club around 1AM just in time to see Guetta get on stage where he killed it. It would have been an awesome show just on that note, but he decided to put on a blockbuster on a Wednesday night in NYC and had guest performers join him throughout the night including Black Eyed Peas (yes Fergie was there and she can get slammed out anyday), Swizz Beatz and Estelle. Besides being a shitshow of a night with an insane set, me and my crew found a bunch of Norwegian chicks who were straight freaks. I woke up this morning with bruises on my legs from this blonde chicks ass beating me like a red headed step child. The party kicked off early this week and I am back on the road headed to Southern Illinois University Carbondale for the Unofficial St. Patties Day Weekend. Its been a while since I was in the Mid-West and I am pretty psyched to get this weekend filled with green beer, car bombs and Irish girls underway.
One huge piece of advice for all you rookies out there….any party involving the words “St. Patties Day” will absolutely be a sick time which you wouldn’t remember. The real St. Patties Day is a few weeks away but it’s never too early to celebrate the luck of the Irish. SIU Carbondale is an under the radar party school with one of their biggest parties being a few weeks ago called Pinch Penny Pub’s Annual Corona Polar Bear Party. I missed that one thanks to Gasparilla so I am real anxious to get crazy this weekend at the Unofficial St. Patties Day. The entire weekend is a complete ragger, there will be people partying no matter what time it is so if you do pass out somewhere (hopefully you leave your shoes on so I can come by and fuck with you) remember to wake up and keep going strong. As for places to stay, Southern Illinois is located after all in Southern Illinois, so don’t expect a baller spot like the Fontainebleau Hotel. The best spots to stay at SIU Carbondale have to be the shitty hotels located right by the bars. I mean you can literally walk to the hotel in a minute to take a piss instead of waiting on the bar line and get back before anyone realizes you even left. Take your pick Super 8 Motel (1180 E. Main St) or Motel 6 (700 E Main St), both adequate places to stay under $60 a night for the room, just make sure you don’t pass out face first on the sex blanket.
Now usually my Campus Of The Week’s consist of days broken down by where to be and when. Considering this weekend is a complete free for all throughout, I am going to hit you with some hot spots to be, but mark my word there will be no rest for the weary. The festivities kick off early Friday morning so I strongly suggest getting to SIU Thursday night to wake up to pure debauchery. One of the best spots in town this weekend is Stix Bar & Billards (517 S Illinois Ave), if your looking for drink specials this is the spot to be. Stix opens at 10AM throughout the weekend so it gives you some time to shower, pregame and wake up that war pig taking up more than her fare share of your grimy Motel 6 bed. If you have $2, which I am hoping you have considering you decided to take a road trip, then your good to go at Stix. Every drink in the entire bar is $2 (except Irish Bombs which is a bank breaking….wait for it….$3). Line up the shots, grab a few beers, even pitchers of green beer are $2 so you can ball out and actually spend under $20 to get crazy at Stix. A perfect spot to grab some grub during the day is Buffalo Wild Wings (1435 E Main St), where you can and should keep the drinking marathon going. SIU’s campus is right by the bars so there are sure to be some house parties going on throughout the day and night. On big party weekends like this one, everyone is pretty chilled out and all in for getting blackout drunk and making new friends so join the mix.
When you wake up Saturday morning be sure to hit Mary Lou’s Grill (114 s Illinois Ave) for some eats that will for sure hold you over for the day. The portions are huge here and if you get in before 11AM they give you free biscuits and gravy with your order, which is their claim to fame. The drinking needs to continue throughout the day and if your looking for a change of scenery a good spot to hit up is Callahan’s Irish Pub (760 E Grand St). This is one of SIU’s favorite bars and considering the name is “Callahan’s Irish Pub” this place is going to be pure madness. $2 pitchers of green beer must be a law in Carbondale because every bar seems to dish them out this weekend including Callahan’s. They also have some crazy drinks for the day including a Dirty Leprechaun which I want no part of. After the morning of greasy food and car bombs your going to feel like a champ, of course until that Guiness catches up to you, but this is one of the perks of having your hotel directly by the bars. If you at some point you need to kick it or even pull the trigger, the hotel is a stumble away, my suggestion would be to grab a girl (even if you need to puke) and let her know she can use your bathroom across the street. Of course there are always going to be that group of girls who are all extremely hot (keep in mind you have been drinking for hours) that have the big girl tagging along. Hey big girls need love too…someone needs to take one for the team and you know damn well it’s not going to be me. I always appreciate my boys taking a hit for the team, in fact I’m feeling generous lately… biscuits and gravy on me in the morning! Enjoy the green beer throughout the weekend and keep living the dream….