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It’s been a few weeks since my last Campus of The Week- my sincere apologies to all you Campus Socialites but partying for a living is a tough job. Between Hofstra MusicFest, Slopeday at Cornell and Palmerfest at Ohio I have been getting my ass kicked by Jack on the rocks and Jungle Juice… good thing I have those slam pieces to nurse me back to health the next morning. With one of the biggest party weekends coming up I felt it was necessary to give all of you a little taste of a crazy East Coast campus and the biggest stuff show to hit a racing track since the girl from Precious was introduced at the Kentucky Derby. This weekend the 135th Preakness Stakes takes place, besides the millions of dollars bet on the race (which you wouldn’t see at all) Preakness is a sacred ground for one of the biggest parties of the year. Lucky for you it takes place about 10 miles away from Towson University, so even if your blacked out drunk you could still possibly make the hike back to campus. Lucky for you as well, Preakness has lifted the ban on alcohol in the Infield and has issued an all you can drink “Mug Club” for just $20, aka this year will be the biggest drunkfest in the state of Baltimore. Get at me this weekend in the Infield of Preakness and as I take over Towson with my Campus Of The Week Tour.
To give you some history on Preakness its straight up a frickin mess of a scene, if you can get past all the meatheads in throw back NBA jerseys and war pigs hunting for the willy meat sandwich its one hell of a time. Last year due to the alcohol ban in the Infield overall attendance dropped over 30%, which led the owners of the race rocking yacht shoes and blazers to actually make a smart move for once and bring back the booze. This year Preakness is doing it right, besides the alcohol ban being lifted there is a live performance in the Infield by the Zac Brown Band and O.A.R. starting at 10am. Besides the fact of you having a higher B.A.C level then your GPA this semester, the track will also be serving $1 drafts from 8am-1pm….breakfast of champions. I highly suggest finding a place on or around campus to crash for the night, if you don’t have any spot (or can’t find a skank to go home with) the next best option is the car or van you came in. Believe me you will be shot after partying all day long and the last thing your going to want to do is figure out a way to get back home. Even though you can’t bring coolers to the Infield bring as much beer and liquor as possible, everyone will be getting stuff faced before entering the track.
Save your money on the horses and bet on something you actually care about for the day. I’m waiting for Vegas to give me a call because these odds could not be more accurate.
100-1 You actually see a horse
50-1 You try the traditional running of the urinals and wipe out on the 3rd pisser
30-1 Your blacked out drunk before 8am
20-1 Your parents call you up and ask you “How’s the race?” and they will look for you on TV
15-1 You randomly see a kid you were kind of friends with from High School and have to ask those awkward questions you really couldn’t care less about like “How’s life?” and say irrelevant things and make empty promises like “We’ll grab shots later”… WTF does that even mean?
10-1 You end up banging a cougar wearing one of those absurd hats everyone wears at horse races
8-1 You give out man hugs all-day and repeat over and over how this is the best day ever
4-1 You get pictures posted of you on Facebook passed out in an inflatable pool surrounded by empty Natty cans
2-1 You see a flasher that belongs on the Discovery Channel
1-1 You get so tanked before the race, funnel beers with your buddies, grab a slice of leftover pizza for breakfast, hook up with some chick that you meet during the pre-game, jam out to classic 80’s rock, pass out and never make it to the race.
Take advantage of Preakness and getting absolutely hammered in the middle of the day, keep living the dream……
