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Hofstra UniversitySex and Relationships

The Most Degrading Sexual Acts and When You Should Perform Them

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Awkward couple in bed

We all hear about those girls who do it all – also known as porn stars. These girls tend to ruin it for the rest of us classy ladies because guys could easily say “Well, the last girl I was with (AKA who he watched on TV) did it…so I thought you would want to.” Most of the time, this assumption is wrong, unless your girl is super kinky (which, some of us are). Some of the sexual acts I listed below are straight up degrading, while the others may be fun to try, but all in due time. If you try to perform these acts at the wrong time, shit could hit the fan and get awkward. Read about the appropriate times to engage in these acts, after the jump.

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Hofstra UniversityLifestyle

The Hangover Story

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the hangover

Everybody has experienced it, lived through it, and hopefully come up with a solution. Perhaps the worst feeling in the world is when you wake up with a dry mouth, an urge to vomit, and a headache.  Yes, it’s called a hangover.  Hangovers are no fun, and when you have douche bags who blast music in your ear, or jump on you while purposely, it only enhances the feeling of shit that you’re dealing with. While hangovers are a horrible experience, there is another feeling, often related, that makes your stomach ride roller coasters in your gut. It all starts with one simple, yet complex question… what the fuck did I do last night? Here’s my story:

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Hofstra UniversityLifestyle

JP Rose’s Guide To Finding A Drunk Girl

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This title is deceiving! I’m not giving you a guide to find drunk girls so you can have a good time, or because you don’t have good enough game to get a sober one. I’m giving you this guide for one reason and one reason only. Everybody loves drunk people. They do moronic, idiotic, and sometimes illegal things for our entertainment…kinda like a clown. While guys sometimes pick fights with others, cause a ruckus, or show off how strong and tough they are, girls become a legitimate comedy show. To me, being around a bunch of drunk guys is boring and stupid. So what do I do? I make sure that if I want to laugh or enjoy something, I will find drunk girls and just stand by them just to watch the show. Do not fucking judge me. If I’m designated driver, what else am I going to do? I need some Goddamn entertainment.

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FeaturedHofstra UniversityLifestyle

The Church of Charlie Sheen

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Charlie-sheen

I’ve long since accepted that if there is a heaven, I am not destined to go there. Christianity has too many rules that I can’t help breaking.  I’ve spent several thousands of my parents’ dollars on college philosophy courses over the past few years, in a desperate attempt to find some higher power whom I can worship and respect. It was through a series of viral YouTube videos, however, that I finally found a deity I can relate to. His name is Charlie Sheen.

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Hofstra UniversitySex and Relationships

Steps To Hooking Up With Your Boss (And Other Authority Figures)

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Seducing authority figures

We’ve all done it. We’ve all had fantasies about the authority figures in our lives who are at least somewhat attractive and mildly young. That professor who has the charisma of a great lover. The boss who calls you into his office and, for just a moment, you imagine throwing everything that’s on the desk onto the floor and throwing him on top. But I’m getting ahead of myself. There are certain steps to take to help you get it in with your boss, professor, and whoever else in your life who has that bit of sexy power over your circumstances. These steps are risky, and should only be taken with unattached power figures to ensure the minimum amount of baggage possible. Read the steps after the jump.

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Hofstra UniversityLifestyle

A Trip To Blue Balls Lagoon

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blue balls

The affliction known as “blue balls” is the worst fucking feeling a guy can ever endure. For the ladies out there who have not, and never will, deal with this pain…think of appendicitis in your crotch. Yep…that’s what it feels like. My first encounter with this dreadful sensation will forever be burned into my memory after what seemed like a sure-thing ended in a night of blue-balled horror. The night was just normal as any other night…blasting the latest Lil Wayne album with a sprinkle of some Girl Talk. My friends came over to pregame and we started putting back shots of Grey Goose and chugged a couple of Four Lokos. It was my buddy’s birthday so we were planning on getting wasted. At around 10:30 PM we departed on our journey to Drunkville – Population: six assholes and a birthday boy.

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Hofstra UniversityLifestyle

The Worst Night Ever

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Last night was the worst night of my fucking life.  It started out just like any other: Pounded a few beers, threw back some shots of Captain and Bacardi, and even downed a Four Loko. We listened to some throwback Tupac/Biggie with a dash of techno.  After a successful pregame, my boys and I were all feeling the approaching buzz. We went to a bar within walking distance and start slurping down some Long Island Iced Teas. We went barhopping around the area and hit up all the hot spots (all whilst chugging Red Bull and Vodkas…it was going to be a long night so we needed our energy). My boys convinced me to go to this club about three miles away so we got a cab (Latino Taxi, by far the sketchiest but also the cheapest).

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EntertainmentHofstra University

The Campus Socialite Free Movie Ticket Giveaway of ‘Win Win’

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Win Win poster

Want to watch an independent film courtesy of yours truly? Paul Giamatti stars in “Win Win,” a critically-acclaimed film written and directed by Tom McCarthy, about a disheartened attorney who volunteers as a high school wrestling coach and stumbles across a star athlete through some questionable business dealings while trying to support his family. McCarthy explores the depths of human relationships as the athlete’s mother returns from rehab with no money, mixing up the lives of those around her.

Sounds like a good film; Paul Giamatti’s a sick actor, and it’s supposed to be a dramatic comedy. Plus, it’s free. The Campus Socialite is giving away 100 pairs of tickets to the first 100 people who comment on the Facebook fan page. The film promotion is taking place on Wednesday, March 9 at 7 p.m. Be sure to check it out; a great Sundance film and like I said, it’s free. So why the fuck not?

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Hofstra UniversityLifestyle

What They Don’t Tell You When You Travel Abroad

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College students traveling abroad

As a budget-driven college student, whether you be studying abroad or just traveling abroad, chances are you will not always stay in the city’s Ritz Carlton Hotel. Often times, you will be staying in shitty hotels or backpacker’s hostels. Often times, these hostels can be a great time and accommodating in its own ways, since they are geared toward college students and backpackers. However, there are some things to know as you travel abroad to Europe that may not be in your standard travel book. Here’s some things to know after the jump.

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Hofstra UniversityLifestyle

How to Get in Shape for Spring Break, Without a Gym

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spring-break

Having a beach body in time for Spring Break seems impossible to most students. The past few months have been packed with “stuff your face” holidays: Christmas, New Year’s, Valentine’s Day, Martin Luther King Jr. Day – wait, scratch that last one…so many opportunities to eat our weight in chocolate and cookies and wash it all down with gallons of wine and beer. Plus there’s the fact that working out would require you to brave the snow (depending on where you live) and actually walk all the way to the gym. Luckily, there are a few ways to shed some pounds and look good for your rapidly approaching spring vacation, without actually displaying your winter flab to the gym-dwelling populous.

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