If you just so happen to be part of the .00001% of normal people who get to date a celebrity, then holy hell, good for you! If you’ve successfully taken one of Hollywood’s hottest bachelors or leading ladies and they’ve falling in love with you, can life get much better? But what if the celebrity doesn’t exactly have the best public image? How can you take them home to Mom and Dad? As long as they don’t fall on the worst list, you should be okay (unless it’s Tara Reid, I excluded her because she’s too terrible to even write about). Here’s a list of the Top 5 best and worst celebrities to bring home to Mom and Dad.
From her stints in rehab, her arrests for DUIs and drug possession, to leaked photos of her in front of lines of blow, Lindsay Lohan is not the girl you want to take home to your angel of a Mom. The 24-year-old party girl was just released from her fourth stay at a rehab facility and the whole world is watching to see if she’s going to be headed back before you can say prescription drugs. It’s difficult to get things started on the right foot when your Mom google image-searched her before she arrived. Note to all you ladies out there: if there’s pictures of your nipples on Google, don’t meet the parents until AFTER you are committed.
Ke$ha (no that’s not a typo, dollar signs and S’s, what’s the difference anyways?) is a singer who is famous for her hits “Tik Tok” and “Your Love is My Drug.” And she is no stranger to partying, she likes to wake up and brush her teeth with a bottle of Jack Daniels. That right there is a sign she’s not parent-meeting material. If you can wake up after a night of drinking and chug JD, then you are definitely a full-blown alcoholic. A few glasses of wine when you meet the parents can help ease things over… but a bottle of Jack and you might be puking in the powder room.
This chick will be taking your son out to bars, throwing glitter and dirt on him, and probably advocating that he never brush his hair again. Ke$ha needs to take a shower ASAP and head on over to the clinic to get tested, before she gets anywhere near your private parts. Or you sweet, Catholic mother.
While your parents probably don’t even know he is a celebrity, as soon as he walks into your house it will immediately wreak of douche and protein shakes. The haircut and gel on this guy are so laughable that your dad actually doesn’t think his whole head of gray hair is that bad anymore. Anyone who has a nickname that isn’t their last name or some version of it, probably shouldn’t be trusted. Also things not to trust: guys whose arms are bigger than their whole body, guys who use the word “grenade” when referring to women, and guys who coerce you into have a threesome. None of these attributes are exactly marriage material, so what’s the point in scaring Mom and Dad for life? All they wanted was for you to marry a nice Jewish boy.
Not only is Mel Gibson one of the worst people to bring home to your parents, but he is also the worst person to ever get in a relationship with in the first place. Gibson, an actor and director, has been in the Hollywood scene for many years, and has always been considered a huge star and heartthrob. Now, he’s an anti-Semitic crazed man who allegedly hits his wife and leaves voicemails that only consist of him breathing loudly. Bringing home crazy ol’ Mel to meet your folks probably isn’t the best idea, even if you’re relying on him for a VISA to legally stay in the country (Oksana, I’m talking to you).
The 17-year-old Gossip Girl actress and Pretty Reckless lead singer used to look like the perfect girl to bring home to your parents. I mean, she was Cindy Loo Who for pete’s sake, she must be a sweetheart! And then Momsen discovered black eyeliner, swear words, and Marlboro Reds and probably tequila, too. At only 17, she’s talked openly about masturbation and sex, which is unusual for Hollywood where everyone wants to portray the good girl image. Momsen is trying to do the opposite it seems. And while it is enlightening on some levels to see a young girl being honest about her sexuality and willingness to experiment, it’s too much for adults to handle.
There is a multitude of categories and “best of” lists that Mr. Clooney could easily top, and this list is no exception. His make-your-heart-melt smile and sexiness has only gotten better with age, and on top of that he seems like a really nice guy. He donates regularly to charities, seems to treat fans nicely, and stays out of the public eye. Oh, and he has millions, so no worries about future finances. The only problem with bringing him home to Mom and Dad could be that your Mom will fall in love with him, too. And no one wants a “Graduate” situation on their hands.
Jennifer Aniston is the girl every chick wants to be, and every guy wants to bone. Even though she’s over the hill at the age of 41, she is still pretty damn hot. Her GQ cover last year caused guys across the country to pass out and get awkward boners in the check-out line at the grocery store. And not only is she gorgeous, she’s funny, too! Her time on “Friends” as Rachel Greene showed she could pull off comedy as well as any other woman on TV, earning her a Golden Globe. Like I said with Clooney, the only problem this time might be your Dad falling in love with her, too, and being a little touchy feely with the hug at the end of dinner.
The petite Academy Award nominated actress seems like one of the most down to earth people in Hollywood. While she’s been in some of the most-watched films over the past few years like all the “Twilight” movies and the Oscar-nominated “Up in the Air,” she has kept out of trouble and rehab. The 25-year-old from Portland seems like someone who will help clean the dishes with your mom and talk sports with your dad.
The 20-year-old Brit is not only one of the richest stars in Britain, but she is also working towards her college degree. Watson studies at Brown University where she is a sophomore, and now that she’s done with the Harry Potter films, she is focusing on getting her degree in Literature. Most celebrities don’t go to college, let alone a celebrity who could sit on her couch and eat bon-bon’s all day if she wanted since she has so much money. But Watson seems like a proactive girl who is ready to learn and evolve and be a normal person. Ivy-league educated and an accent, what a great combination that both Mom and Dad will love.
The SNL funny man is exactly the kind of guy you want to bring home to your family dinner. He’ll laugh with your parents about the funny things you do (in a cute way, not a mean one), and won’t be offended when your dad makes a joke that’s not really dinner-table appropriate. It also doesn’t hurt that he looks a whole lot like Sidney Crosby. As long as he doesn’t give you his dick in a box for Christmas at your house, he seems like a guy your parents won’t mind having over and getting close to their daughter.