I’m sure this question doesn’t need asking, but does college ever get you stressed? As a matter of fact, you’re probably all in the library right now, taking a break to see what The Campus Socialite has to say (much appreciated, by the way). I’m sure they told you at orientation that you could always go see the staff therapist if you ever needed anything. Good luck finding his office, or someone that knows where his office is, and if you do happen to get there, I’m sure he’s the guy who got kicked out of Med School, and now hates his life because he has to spend his whole day listening to you complain about how Biology is too hard. Yale University however, is taking a different approach. As of earlier this week, the university library will now be renting out a dog to stressed out students. Read on Socialites…
Tensions levels can get very high in college, and this can often lead to some unfortunate events. For instance, hooking up with the fat chic because you’re too tired to leave your room and she happened to booty call you. Or of course, turning to hard alcohol. In order to help reduce stress levels, Yale University has created a revolutionary system in which you can rent a Terrier named Monty from the library. That way next time Bertha from down the hall texts you a winky face, you can send her back a “nah.” On second thought, keep her around. A dog can’t do everything.
Students can “check out” Monty for up to 30 minutes. According to faculty “It is well documented that visits from therapy dogs have resulted in increased happiness, calmness, and over-all emotional well being.” I’ve never personally owned a dog, but you do tend to forget about your problems when one happens to be in the room. According to the librarian, Monty is especially good for this purpose because he is mild-tempered as well as hypo-allergenic.
The sessions will take place in a confined, non-public area. I was going to make a whore-house joke but I’ll resist the urge. On second thought, there is something to be said about the idea of loaning an animal out to complete strangers. But I’ll let PETA do the talking on that touchy issue. If they haven’t found out already , it’s probably because their too busy with Bob Parsons. So nobody tell them. The loaning process is being run on a trial basis, but apparently time slots are going quick, and the school expects that “Therapy with Monty” are here to stay.
I know what you’re thinking. Why the fuck is it that the Ivy Schools get to have all the fun? My school library didn’t even have a water fountain, let alone a lovable dog to play with when I started to consider shooting myself in the face. Apparently there are other colleges like Tufts University in Massachusetts, and Oberlin College in Ohio offer a similar service, however, not one in which a dog is loaned at the library like a book. Personally, I’m a fan. All schools should be required by law to offer the same service. Step up other Universities…those asshole Ivy Leaguers can’t have it all.