Revenge of the Nerds: Why It’s Best To Date A Nerd

Those 90s movies didn’t lie. College is filled with wild parties, excessive alcohol, promiscuous sex and taboo drugs. And yes, I have met plenty of frat boys that rival the activities of Van Wilder and Otter combined. Ladies, if this is where you are looking to get laid, then by all means, enter the Animal Houses of your colleges. But if you are looking to get lucky, try the back row of your English class.Yes, I am talking about the Nerds. You’ve seen them roaming the campus and you’ve probably even seen a few with some pretty attractive women on their arms. These women aren’t blind. They aren’t dumb. And this isn’t Shallow Hal. These women scored.

If you haven’t tried out a Nerd, it is in your upmost interest to do so immediately. The perks are multiple and, though you may not be drooling at their shapely athletic bodies, they are far more rewarding than one might anticipate.

But before we get to the pros of dating high IQs, let me clarify one thing: nerds vary in breed. I am NOT talking about Anime specialists or “gamers” (Asian cartoons are not a turn-on and World of Warcraft will never be sexy). Yet there are those few boys who were overlooked in high school, nameless to the school other than Honor Roll. They were not class clowns, nor star athletes. They always knew the answers but never raised their hands. Now that the acne has cleared up and those cargo shorts have finally been tossed, these slightly socially awkward boys are precisely the gems I’m referring to.

Pro #1.

He’s smart. Yes, I’m sure your Delta Phi boyfriend can recite the frat’s pledge backwards (Pledge Week, he had to do that while tap dancing naked-impressive!) and explain the exact difference between Keystone Light and Natural Ice (those frat boys are quite the connoisseurs, you know). But doesn’t a heated conversation about politics or even a book sound so…satisfying? A boy with brains can cure an intellectual craving faster than an episode of 60 Minutes.

Pro #2

There is no ego.  Enticing, right? Not having to deal with the macho one-upping, the willyy repercussions from his unrivaled Champion Beer Pong title, or the sense of entitlement from Mr. Football (Freud apparently never dealt with a star quarterback). I’m not saying confidence isn’t attractive. We all love a man in charge, but there is a fine line between confidence and willyiness. And unfortunately, many athletes jump this line a bit too heartily.

Pro #3

He is dying to please you. Now, we don’t want the ones who fall over themselves to agree with you (if he orders the exact same thing at Starbucks, red flag his ass). And we especially don’t want Stage Five Clingers (flowers are nice, fields of them aren’t). But trust me, he thanks his Lucky Charms everyday that he gets to wake up next to you. So as long as displays of affection are kept at a normal level, hang on to him. Because nothing is better than a boy in your bed that wants nothing more than to see you smile.

So, next time you pass that slightly unequal couple on campus, realize that this girl has done nothing more than opened her eyes to the wonderful world of socially awkward brainiacs. You may just want to follow her lead; you never know what potential is silently brooding in the corner of the classroom.

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