By: Ann Redus (UTSA)
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Late Monday evening, the newest Dancing With the Stars cast was announced, and from the looks of it this season actually might be worth watching. After 11 seasons, the whack-jobs they chose as cast members are enough for me to tune in. Shall we?
Bristol Palin: daughter of Sarah Palin. Popped out a kid not too long ago… Has commercials on MTV about not getting pregnant, ha. That won’t get rid of your baby, Bristol.
Florence Henderson: mom on The Brady Bruch… The original Brady Brunch. She’s ancient. Her bones are fragile and I’m betting she breaks a hip.
Jennifer Grey: was in the movie Dirty Dancing. PLEASE tell me they make her redo the infamous dancing scene from that movie – HOW CREATIVE.
Margaret Cho: I would say comedian, but I can’t stand her so I’ll say aspiring comedian. She sucks. I don’t think this show will do anything for her “career.”
Audrina Patridge: BANGING BODY. I can only imagine how emotionless her interviews are going to be. Has anyone else noticed the lack of emotion when she talks? She’s in her twenties and it looks like she’s already had too much Botox in her face.
Brandy: I’m assuming this is Phase 2 of trying to jumpstart her career. I guarantee her brother road the fame train from his sex tape as long as he could. I’m not suggesting she should go that route, but anything helps.
Michael Bolton: I will BEG them to make him dance to his last hit, “Go The Distance.” Does anyone remember that song? Probably not. They should also make him wear a toga because it was the theme song in Disney’s Hercules. Just my suggestion.
David Hasselhoff: THE HOFF: The man who will do anything to keep his career alive in Hollywood, including hanging out by his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. I believe I was watching Chelsea Handler when they showed clips of the Hoff casually chillin by his star, posing for pictures, and signing autographs. WHAT A LOSER.
Mike Sorrentino: The Situation: As if he didn’t make enough money already. This Doug Funnie look-alike has a DECENT six pack, nothing worth drooling over. Let’s see if he’s the first one to hook up with Audrina.. or Bristol Palin?
Rick Fox: has better cheek bones than most women. I think he’ll be gone after the first episode. He seems high maintenance.
Kurt Warner: I’m just thankful we have a decent looking retired NFL star who isn’t doing ads for Sketchers shoes. I like him and I hope he wins. DILF.
Kyle Massey: Who are you? You look awfully similar to the little brother on That’s So Raven. Is that the same kid? I think he’s 19. If he’s on DTWS that young, his career was over before it started.
Like I mentioned earlier, this season’s cast almost has me deleting stuff on my TiVO to make room for season 11 of DWTS. The first episode will air on September 20 on ABC.