By this point, I’m sure you all have seen the video viruses going around on Facebook. These are the most ridiculous names for videos you can possibly imagine, and when your friend’s click them, they show up on your newsfeed. Whether it be the classic “Woman Has Orgasm On A Roller Coaster! LOL” or everyone’s favorite, “Dog Funnels 18 Beers & Does A Backflip While Fighting Off A Ninja Army” (ok that one might not exist yet but think how awesome that really would be), we can all agree these videos are completely ridiculous, and when we see them on your newsfeed, it brings us instant happiness.
To all you video creepers, I salute you. You have given the gift that keeps on giving: a good laugh every time I sign onto Facebook. Good for you, you fourteen year old hacker in your mom’s basement. You created a virus that tells the rest of us who is creeping around for some weird shit. I mean really. How can you think a video is really posted by your friend if the title consists of three LOL’s and a smiley face? What the hell – am I in 9th grade? Check out the best video viruses we have seen on friends’ walls. These things have spread faster then HPV in a Sorority house after bid night.
This video says a lot about the wall it shows up on – avid porn watcher and very into barely legal girls. To make matters worse for me, this video just so happened to appear on one of my buddies’ dad’s profile….whose career is in law.
Knowing your dad is looking at porn is a fact of life. Let’s face it, when I am fifty years old and have been dipping into the same slime cave for twenty years, I’m going to need some new material to get me through the night. However, announcing it to all your friends really is just uncalled for. You have some serious explaining to do to your kids, wife and co-workers, and you can expect some real awkwardness from all your child’s friends for about the next three months. Another reason why parents should not be on Facebook!
Amazing Live Birth
The story behind this one is almost too good to be true. The video above was the decoy for this virus and a pretty damn good one at that. Just looking at the paused image makes you want to see what’s next – even though it does look like that thing is ready to swallow a sandwich.
Normally this really wouldn’t be too bad – I mean it definitely beats your Dad beating it to some chick younger then you – but the girl whose profile this showed up on is going into her senior year of college and is pregnant with her first kid. Now I’m not sure what you consider to be a “good age” to have kids, but in my world, going to Creative Writing 101 in the morning or the bar at night with a watermelon sized stomach is not the most ideal situation in college.
The real kicker with this story is the girl’s family is very against her having the kid. And not to get all pro/anti life on this, but it’s basically known at this point that all signs point to a decision that rhymes with schmushmortion. Am I a sick bastard that thinks it is kind of ironic that this video would pop up on her wall for all to see and judge? Most likely. Am I the only one to publicly bring this to the attention of thousands of students across the country? I would say so. Did all of her Facebook friends (1,064 to be exact) think the exact same way as me and immediately judge – and possibly get a few laughs out of it? Absolutely.
Facebook Video Virus Creator, you’re a dick but you do have a way of choosing fantastic names and videos for all to click on and enjoy. Socialites, do you have some creeper friends with hilarious virus vid’s on their profile? Let us know the best and we’ll post them up on our site for everyone to point and laugh at.