Five College Things To Do Before Judgment Day

For years, people believed December 21, 2012 was the end of the world, but according to Harold Camping, a guy who hosts the Christian Ministry Family Radio Worldwide, you only have 9 days to get your shit (and conscience) in order! That said, we’ve all played the things-to-do-before-you-die game, but this is slightly different from a bucket list. Should the world end on May 21, 2011, here is a list of five college-related things you’ve always wanted to do and should do before 11:59:59 PM May 20th.

Enjoy Cannabis

Did you really think we wouldn’t start this list off with this? Uh, hello. *chucks a V8 at your head* The U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration classifies marijuana as a Schedule I drug, meaning it’s a gateway drug. I disagree. If doctors in California can prescribe medical marijuana, and Canada, California and Colorado can push cannabis cola, then marijuana should be as legal as alcohol. Before May 21st I suggest you contact your resident weed head on the third floor for his connects. Make some special brownies, blast Grizzly Bear’s “Slow Life” and just bask in the floatiness of it all. Supposedly, marijuana does this to you. I wouldn’t know.


Skinny Dip at a Public Pool or Beach (with no regard for patrons or the weather)

During Spring Break, my friends and I half-nakedly ran across a parking lot to Ft. Lauderdale beach. Once we reached the beach, we took our clothes off and jumped into the freezing March water. Never mind the couples walking on the beach, the bums sleeping on the beach, or the red light of the lit cigarette from some unknown person obscured by darkness. We had fun skinny dipping. So much fun that halfway through putting our clothes on, we decided to take them off and skinny dip again. Be spontaneous and do it if you haven’t already.


Bar Hopping

Every college student needs one memory where they’ve spent the night going from bar to bar, taking shots and dancing. No one cares about what happens the morning after. Bar crawls are fun when you’re in a huge group. Guys, wear an undershirt just in case. Girls, don’t wear heels! Everyone should start off slow with beers, then mixed drinks and eventually shots. Make sure not to mix too many types of alcohol. Mostly importantly, have a designated driver or split a cab back to someone’s apartment where each person can pass out where their head lands.


Cause a Ruckus

One boring 2 AM during freshman year, my roommates and I dressed in all black and ran around the dorms vandalizing doors with ketchup, oil, mayonnaise and lotion, and knocking on doors. We had a riot. Two days later the RA put up flyers on the bulletin boards about the disturbance and vandalism, and that future incidents would result in her calling the university police department. Our ruckus was on a smaller scale, but we’d had tons of incidents happen on University of North Florida’s campus from dorm floods to spray-painted doors to fake robberies (I don’t suggest you try that one). Coed Magazine gives you 10 videos of the best college pranks of all time. Choose your pick, ladies and gentlemen, and get to prankin’.


Turn Ragers into Riots

If you’re going to go out with a bang you might as well turn that bang into a riot. Whether you’re in a dorm room or an off-campus apartment, invite everyone possible at school and pack your place like sardines in a tin can. Have everyone bring a bottle, play the music as loud as possible, and turn it into a full-blown party. When campus police come, play Public Enemy’s “Fuck the Police.” Who cares about a write up to student conduct with just days left, right?

Of course, the last thing you should really do is pray and ask for forgiveness for your sins — if your faith calls for it. You’re in College for God-sakes, you’re probably sinning as you read this. Before that, though, enjoy having the best time of your life!



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