Every week our friends at Hazed & Confused send us 10 of their best, worst, and weirdest pledge stories to post up. Here are this week’s winners. Got a better hazing story? Be sure to head over to their site and submit it. It’s 100% anonymous, and maybe it’ll find its way back to here next Wednesday.
1. “My frat had a golf cart it bought way before I started pledging. But on all the bar nights the frat made us drive around to all the bars and pick people up like a taxi service. We were suppose to charge $5 a person but almost never got paid, it was the worst on the big party nights.”
I think this actually sounds pretty fun. Sure you’re missing a party but so what? – grab some road beers and see how fast you can get that golf cart to go. You can’t get a ticket for drunk driving a golf cart, can you? Well, maybe. Off-roading in a golf cart is always a good time and not a bad idea to raise some extra money for a broke frat. But in reality, how drunk do you have to be to accept a ride from a bunch of pledges in a golf cart? That’s not something you see everyday.
2. “The brothers told us we were gonna come to the house to get stoned. They smoked us up and made sure we were real high then we had to line up in the basement and they threw rocks at us.”
Oh pledges, when will you learn? No one’s ever going to just nicely invite you over to smoke their weed on a normal day, so how could you expect this during pledging? I’m wondering how big these rocks were and I genuinely hope you survived (I assume you did since you got to post this). At least you still got down on that blunt before they decided to beat the shit out of you. This one sounds painful and cruel. I feel your pain guys, but I hope the weed helped ease it. Loved the wordplay though.
3. “Multiple nights throughout the semester we’d pick the pledges up and drop them off somewhere random and make them run back to campus…we called it midnight runs. If they took too long we’d drive them back where they came from and make them do it again.”
This is a good way to get your frat bros in shape. There’s nothing more frustrating then hustling to get somewhere and having to turn around and do it all over again. Hopefully you guys drive them far enough away so that they actually suffer. It kind of sucks that you had to keep driving back and forth though, its like you’re punishing yourselves, too. This doesn’t seem too painful though, I think something’s missing; Maybe make them do it in the winter, or barefoot, or barefoot in the winter – but overall this is a good way to make your pledges haul ass.
4. “The guys blindfolded us and brought us out to an abandoned farm near campus where we had to strip down and roll around in horse manure. Then they just left us there covered in shit and made us walk home.”
Shit, this sucks. My gag reflex kicks in at just the thought of it. I’m wondering how far the walk was, because I’m sure it wasn’t pleasurable. I bet these pledges reeked for days. I have this crazy image in my mind of like 6 guys covered from head to toe in thick mud looking like zombies crawling down the street, buzzing with flies. Maybe I’ve been watching too much Walking Dead but just saying, it’d be freaky to see.
5. “We made the pledges come through to the house with a bottle of tequila for each of them and told them to wear sneakers, helmets, and cups. Then we made them each kill a bottle. Once they were wasted we made them to do laps around the backyard as we pelted them with dodgeballs half of them couldn’t even get back up.”
Haha nothing is funnier than drunk people trying to run. But drunk people trying to dodge balls? Impossible. I gotta say this is a cheap way of making your pledges easier targets. Personally, I can barely walk straight after chugging tequila so these guys must have been so wasted they didn’t even notice the bullets flying at them. This had to be funny to watch, I bet a video of this would kill it on Youtube.
6. “My boyfriend was the Pledgemaster of his frat a few years ago and I remember when they borrowed some of our sorority’s dirty laundry and had all their pledges standing in lineup with our dirty panties on their heads while they were screaming at them. We never asked for our clothes back.”
This hazing seems kind of stupid and childish compared to the stories I’ve been reading over the last couple of months. I think it’s fair to say we need a picture of the sorority girls before we can evaluate how fucked up this really is. If the sorority is filled with a bunch of dime pieces and all this frat did was take their sexy panties and stick them on some kids’ heads for a little, then sign me up. But if this is one of those plus sized sororities where the girls look like the Green Bay Packers defensive line I picture a whole lot of nasty granny panties. If that is the case then we’re talking a whole new level of cruelty.
7. “In order to get a bid into our fraternity, we make the kids go 3 rounds with one of our senior members with Sock Em Bopper inflatable gloves. Fun to watch and even more fun to participate in. If they can’t handle that, they won’t handle our pledging.”
I love this story because you know those pledges don’t stand a chance. The kid they’re up against has got to be jacked and I could guess that after 4 years he’s a complete boss with those inflatable gloves. You pledges will just have to protect yourself for those 3 rounds as best as possible and hope this guy doesn’t kill you the second you get in the ring. I would love to see a pledge surprise them and knock this Sock Em Bop Em Champion the fuck out. What happens then? Does this kid get to skip the rest of the pledging process and automatically become the president of the frat? Who’s the bitch now?
8. “We always made fun of this one pledge because he had no facial hair and couldn’t grow a beard or mustache so we drew a mustache and a goatee on him with a sharpie and told him he had to make sure it stayed for the whole week. Every morning he had to draw it back on…he looked ridiculous it never got old.”
This pledge really needs to man the fuck up and hit puberty already. Seriously, you’re not growing any facial hair when your in college? I started growing peach fuzz in middle school. Shit, my little brothers starting showing some facial hair last week and he’s in the 5th grade. If I were this pledge I’d be thanking the brothers for making me finally feel like a man.
9. “We were blindfolded and had to beer bong basically whatever was in the fridge that night it was gross.”
Oh man, the food shit for me is the worst. I can only imagine what’s in a fraternity’s fridge and how expired it is. Who knows what a bunch of drunk dudes thought would be funny to shove down a beer bong for their pledges to chug. That shit is nasty, the only way I’d attempt it is if I was blacked out and had no idea what I was doing. I can just picture these guys funneling a mix of pickles, leftovers from chipotle, and expired milk. Gross.
10. “We do this thing called ‘PB&J pledges’ where we make the pledges strip down and cover half with peanut butter and half with jelly. Then we tie them together with plastic wrap and deliver them to different sorority houses.”
Ok, it sounds kind of weak but this is one of the more creative stories I’ve heard in a while. I definitely give it an A for effort. It gives me flashbacks to brown bagged lunches and elementary school cafeterias. I just want to know what happens when they get a kid who’s allergic to peanuts and force him to do this one. I bet that would be the last time they attempt it. We wouldn’t want the sorority girls to find an unconscious kid covered in hives on their stoop now would we?
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