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Hazed & Confused: 10 Real Hazing Stories, 100% Anonymous

hazed & confused

Every week our friends at Hazed & Confused send us 10 of their best, worst, and weirdest pledge stories to post up. Here are this week’s winners. Got a better hazing story? Be sure to head over to their site and submit it. It’s 100% anonymous, and maybe it’ll find its way back to here next Wednesday.

1. “When I pledged, the brothers brought us over to the frat house to clean the kitchen floor. As if it weren’t dirty enough already they started pouring beer, breaking a couple of eggs, and squirting ketchup all over it. Then they told us to clean it all up using our tongues. Worst thing they ever did to us”

eggs on floor

Yeah there ya go, these guys are kicking it up a notch. As if cleaning a dirty fraternity house’s kitchen floor with your tongue isn’t bad enough, this frat had to give the word “disgusting” a whole new meaning. Throw some raw eggs on top of all that dirt and while you’re at it, BAM, mix in some ketchup to give it that little extra umph. These guys are taking the word degrading to a whole new level.

2. “Got one pledge so drunk and waited for him to pass out. While he was sleeping we put him into a brother’s car and then parked another brother’s car right in front of it, facing the first one. Then we turned the lights on and started honking repeatly. The pledge almost shit himself. “

passed out

Wow, we got some crafty sosn of bitches here. Why the hell didn’t I think of this when I had one of my boys in a drunken stupor? I usually resort to the same old boring, drawings dicks on someone’s face tactic, but now I have a new trick up my sleeve. It’s a lot of effort but definitely worth the laugh. All I know is tonight I am getting somebody extremely wasted and giving them a heart attack.

3. “During Hell Week, my breakfast consisted of two raw eggs and a warm beer, every morning. I still can’t eat eggs.”

rocky raw eggs

Sounds like a Breakfast Of Champions to me. Welcome to what I used to consider Sunday brunch every weekend back in college. I can’t be the only one who is down for kegs and eggs, every now and then. Only difference is I was eating my eggs sunny side up instead of raw, but then again, I’m not a little pledge bitch, so I’ll eat my eggs any God-Damn way I please!

4. “One day we got the pledges really drunk and then made them take turns smacking a wasps nest that was on our deck. Whoever gave up first had to clean up the house by themselves. “

wasps nest

This might be my enormous fear of Bees talking, but that is just wrong. A fucking WASP Nest? The stings from those little bastards are like 10x more powerful then a regular Bee. Who stayed around to watch them while they hit the nest? When that shit explodes, those Wasps are going everywhere and I for one am not sticking around. This is one hazing activity I am not taking part of, not even to watch.

5. “When I pledged, the brothers collected all of our cell phones and kept them for 2 weeks. We weren’t allowed to use them at all. This is much more worse than it sounds. I always felt like something was missing and felt disconnected from the world lol”

no cell phone

Two weeks?? Jesus, I take my hat off to you guys. If I’m without my phone for longer then an hour I feel completely naked. Two weeks is a long time though. That’s almost Twilight Zone shit.  I can’t ever imagine abandoning my beloved iPhone; How would I know the weather? Play Angry Birds? Or find the nearest 711?  I just feel like this is almost a punishment against the frat though: how do they get in touch with the pledges when they need a them? Kind of hard to get a pledge to come do your laundry or bring you a dutch when you can’t call them to tell them to.

6. “A friend of mine told me about how his frat gave him and his entire pledge class mushrooms, then bought them into the woods and shot paintball guns at them from point blank range.”

paintball

Okay, from somebody who has experimented here and there, this is fucked up!! I’m telling you this shit could of turned out all types of bad. Shrooms is a complete mindfuck for a lot of people. You have no idea what kind of trip they are going to have; happy, sad, mad, scared. You’re just asking for trouble by 1. Bringing them into the woods and letting them wander by themselves, 2. Shooting paintballs at a bunch of kids tripping. Since it turned out all right I’m sure it was a hell of a time, but I wouldn’t suggest keeping that as one of your pledging rituals.

7. “While the frat had a party, we had to listen to Kidz Bop CD’s for about 8 hours in the basement.. this is MUCH worse than it sounds. It was torture.”

kidz bop

Haha, oh man I feel these pledge’s pain. I remember back when I was pledging that new song Paper Planes had just come out and they had all of us listening to it for hours in a locked room. Any annoying catchy song on repeat is just not a good time.  But Kidz Bop CD’s? That sounds like Hell on Earth. Little kids singing Jay-z and Lady Gaga? What a heinously terrible terrible idea. What I’m wondering is where did your frat get these CD’s? Hopefully you guys didn’t already own them, unless someone’s a closet child molester or something. Hey, you never know.

8. “Once my entire pledge class had to wear diapers and pacifiers to a campus party and could only talk to girls if we called them ‘mama.’”

diaper

This is awesome. This is what I think about when I think of hazing. Just embarrassing the shit out of all your pledges, and even better in front of a large group of girls. I’m sure they got a kick out of being called mama all night, and who knows, maybe a few of them even liked it and one of the pledges became a lucky daddy.

9. “The guys put large trashcan in the middle of the room. Then each pledge was given shots of straight Everclear. We had to drink until the trash can was filled with puke.”

everclear

This sounds awful to me. Don’t get me wrong, heavily drinking is a big part of pledging for all fraternities. But Everclear?? Couldn’t think of any other liquor I would want to drink less of. And the smell of that room while the pledges are filling up a trashcan of vomit? Oh man. Gets me sick just thinking about it, in every single way.

10.  “During Hell Week we have to refer to the president of the frat as ‘The Godfather’ and refer to the frat as ‘The Family.’ Then there’s one night we have to dress up in suits and do petty crimes like steal from another frat, kidnap a sorority girl, and smuggle drugs/alcohol. Then they have guys harass us for information and we’re not supposed to rat out our brothers.” 

the godfather

Haha this is one of my favorite stories. Who doesn’t love The Godfather and The Sopranos? A Bronx Tale? Donnie Brasco? My list of kick ass gangster movies goes on. I watch these movies and dream about shooting, looting and being a fucking boss. This is an awesome idea. I’m curious about the petty crimes and drug smuggling (smuggling drugs from where? robbing who exactly?) but I think kidnapping a sorority girl is pretty hilarious. And of course you can’t rat out your boys.. No one likes a fucking rat! 

Check out  http://www.hazedandconfused.com for even more anonymous hazing stories and to submit your own!!