Every week our friends at Hazed & Confused send us 10 of their best, worst, and weirdest pledge stories to post up. Here are this week’s winners. Got a better hazing story? Be sure to head over to their site and submit it. It’s 100% anonymous, and maybe it’ll find its way back to here next Wednesday.
1. “One night we were forced to lay down in the basement and we were beaten with bamboo sticks. It was so painful “
Jesus! What ever happened to a good-old-fashion fraternity paddle? Now frats have resorted to beating their pledges with bamboo sticks? What do you think you are, a ninja? I hear bamboo is strong and durable, so this fraternity may have started a painful game changer for pledges that will soon catch on. Sorry pledges, this ones going to leave a mark. Hi-ya.
2. “I was pledgemaster last semester in my fraternity and we had this one kid who would leave ashes on the living room table or anywhere he smoked and never clean up after himself. We got tired of it pretty quick and to teach him to clean up we had him be our personal ashtray while we smoked one day, and every time we had to ash he opened his mouth and we ashed our cigarettes. Kid dropped that night”
I get it. The kid was an asshole who needed to be taught a lesson; you can’t be leaving cigarette ashes wherever you please. Ashtrays exist for a reason. But to make a human being open their mouth and ash in it whenever you want? I’m pretty sure these guys were trying to get this kid to drop.
3. “In the beginning of pledging, we dyed all the pledge’s hair bleach blonde like in Fight Club. It was hysterical. One of the pledges shaved his head down, so we shaved his entire head, leaving him completely bald.”
“In Tyler Durden, We Trust.” Sounds more like these guys are starting their own cult, not a fraternity. Next thing you know they’re going to start calling themselves Project Mayhem, making their own soap, and beating themselves up. I like the whole unity thing they got going though. Just remember not to talk about it.
4. “During I-week, all the pledges have to live in the basement. We call it the “Dungeon.” They aren’t allowed to leave at any time, not even to go to the bathroom. They’re constantly getting fucked with from things being thrown at them, to actives opening the door to the small basement and peeing on all of them sitting at the bottom”
Damn. My Hell Week had absolutely nothing on this. Sure we had to live in a small area for two days, but we were allowed to leave for classes, food, and bathroom breaks. Who knows how long their I-Week lasts? It must have been pretty nasty in that basement after a few days. The smell down there had to be horrendous by the end of it. What happens in the basement stays in the basement. right guys?
5. “For an entire night, pledges were forced to take turns standing underneath the shower, blasting on freezing cold water. They take turns switching in and out of the shower, standing for however long they could handle it but at least one pledge had to be in the shower at all times. This went on from 11pm to 6 in the morning.”
I had something very similar to this while I pledged but it wasn’t for a whole night! For my pledge class, if a pledge fucked up, his punishment was to go in a freezing cold shower for no more than a hour. I hated those cold showers more than anything else we did. Make me do push-ups, Up Downs, eat anything, but don’t leave me shivering in the freezing cold. That having been said, 7 hours is really, really, fucking intense. I don’t know if I would have lasted. Knowing my immune system, I probably would have caught pneumonia from that shit.
6. “I’m in a sorority and we never really do anything too crazy to haze our girls. One thing we do is have our girls dress in togas and go over to one of the fraternity’s houses we’re close with and serve them like Greek Gods, all day. From getting them drinks, to feeding them grapes, to fanning them down. Just a little fun we have with our new members.”
This might be a pain for the girls but at least the bros can benefits from this. Imagine being waited on by a bunch of hot sorority girl pledges…in togas! I would love to watch Sunday football while having grapes fed to me by my own servant. And really, how bad can it really be for the girls that are pledging. Compared to some of the things I heard Sororities do to their pledges, this seems like a walk in the park. Everyone wins.
7. “The brothers told us we were gonna come to the house to get stoned. They smoked us up and made sure we were real high then we had to line up in the basement and they threw rocks at us”
Lol wtf really? This is what this fraternity does to their pledges..,just throws a bunch of rocks at them? Sounds like this frat was too lazy to bother to try and haze these kids or too high to realize this was a bad idea. ‘Bro I got it, lets get them mad high and throw some rocks at them, it will be like a metaphor or some shit’. Nah man that’s just fucking stupid and could be the worst idea I’ve ever heard. I’d kick this pledgemaster out of the frat and make him pledge again for being such an idiot. What a bunch of stoners (no pun intended).
8. “We tied up one of the pledges to a pole we had in the house and then we had one of his pledge brothers pluck his butt hairs with tweezers. This kid had a hairy ass too.”
I mean I don’t know who to feel more sorry for, the kid getting his ass hairs tweezed by one of his friends, or for the kid who has to sit their and tweeze his boy’s hairy ass. Sounds like some pretty girly shit to me either way. I don’t know if I would want to be down with this frat after having me make sure my boy’s ass hairs were tweezed to perfection. Why don’t you tweeze his eyebrows too while you’re at it? This one is just awkward and weird.
9. “A bunch of the active brothers clipped their toenails and threw it in a bowl of ground beef. Cooked the burgers and than gave it to the whole pledge class for dinner that night.”
I always love to include a food related story in my list. Fraternities always manage to come up with the most disgusting things to force their pledges to eat. This one is a prime example. A toenail burger! Makes me want to vomit just thinking about it. That is gross man. Imagine biting into a nice hamburger only to find one of the brother’s grungy toenails filled with fungus in the middle. Oh man that could be up there with one of the most disgusting hazing activities involving food we’ve had up in here in a while.
10. “When I pledged the brothers sprayed water and beer on a tile basement floor and stripped us down to our boxers and dragged my pledge brothers and I around by our feet calling us ‘Human Squeegees’.”
The idea and the name are clever but as far as hazing goes, this isn’t the best I’ve seen. Yes, it’s pretty nasty to roll around on any floor let alone one in a frat house. But this whole sponge concept just isn’t working right for me. I mean how can a human sponge absorb anything if he’s not wearing anything except boxers? Doesn’t really make much sense now does it? This would be funnier if you actually tied sponges to their stomachs. Then you could haze and get some cleaning done! Ah the power of multi-tasking.
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