By: Paige Vigil (University of Minnesota)
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For most girls, there’s always that guy. The guy that makes her heart flutter a little faster every time she sees him. The guy that is insanely attractive. The guy that is irresistibly charming. And usually, the guy that it seems like every other girl wants. The guy may seem unattainable, but if you play your cards right, that doesn’t have to be the case. Before you start the chase after your alpha-male, make sure he is what you want to chase. Having just finished reading Tucker Max’s book, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, I can’t help but be a tad-skeptical. Tucker Max presents a fairly simple theory that all most men are interested in is sex. Make sure your man isn’t a mini Tucker Max and follow the rules bellow and you’ll should be golden.
1. Play hard to get: Everyone wants what he or she can’t have. Men are competitive by nature, so it makes sense that he would be enthralled by the chase. Don’t not show any interest or show some interest but then walk away. If you show NO interest, then he’ll clearly assume you’re not interested. Speak with him briefly, laugh at his jokes and perhaps touch his forearm. He’ll think he has it in the bag till you turn your back. This will spike his interest. He will know he must have done something to catch your interest but not enough to keep you around. Consequently, he’ll come chase after you. I know that when you like a guy, it can be hard to walk away when he is paying you attention, but trust me… do it. By not throwing yourself at him, you’re showing a certain level of confidence.
2. Don’t forget the power of your eyes: Eye contact shows interest. Enough said. Remember to make eye contact, even if it is from across the room. If you’re feeling daring, try a little wink, then turn away. Locking eyes in a room full of other people is intimate. Instead of worrying yourself about what he is thinking about you in that very instant, enjoy it. Don’t over analyze. I’ve locked eyes with a hot man before, panicked, looked away and then ran away, only to kick myself 10 minutes later for not doing something sexier.
3. Be everything: Be the librarian and the sex kitten. Be the introvert and the extrovert. Be the business woman and the party animal. Be the sports fanatic and the fashion advocate. Men don’t REALLY know what they want. So give it all to them. I know I’d be thrown for a loop if I found a man who gave it all to me…dressed well, listened well, was masculine but still loved cats and wasn’t gay. You can be his girl version of McDreamy.
4. Don’t divulge your life story: What would you have to talk about later? Focus on the fun stuff and the chemistry, then get to the nitty gritty later on. A little mystery never hurt anyone. I’ve definitely dated guys who made me feel so well in the beginning I told them all about my history and my plans for the future. Surprisingly this didn’t turn them off as much as it turned me off. Sure, it was fun to talk about myself for the first few dates, but afterward, I had nothing left to say. It suddenly felt like I had dated the guy for years versus days and that eerie feeling ensued. Enjoy the butterflies from the mystery in the start before they fade away.
5. Ask HIM questions: I’ll go out on a limb and say that his favorite topic to talk about is probably himself. Asking questions proves you’re sincerely interested. A guy that is hesitant to divulge may be sending off signals that it is too soon to be asking the type of questions you’re asking. Take his cues. Also, just as divulging TOO much too early about yourself can be a bad thing, you don’t want to hear his life story right away either. I dated a guy once who sat me down and told me everything I needed to know about him in order to marry him. From the start of the meal to the end of the meal, I didn’t say one word. Sadly for him, everything he said was only digging him deeper into a hole. I couldn’t concentrate on how much I actually DID like him because I was concentrating on how much our values didn’t align. Of course, values are a good thing to talk about, but maybe not on the first date. Keep it light.
6. Show your inner kid: Don’t take yourself too seriously. Goof around and laugh. No one wants to be around a Debbie Downer. Part of actually being able to fall for someone is being able to play with them and have a good time.
7. Don’t sleep with him on the first date (duh): Who wants to buy ice cream from the ice cream truck when you’re handing out the popsicles for free? If he finds out what you’ve got before he finds out enough about you, he may just walk away. Make him work harder before you show him your goodies. His yearning to find your inner sexual deviant will make him learn more about you during the journey. He’ll probably like what he finds (what is there not to like?) then he’ll stick around.
Hook, line and sinker.