Breaking up is never easy, and is usually full of name-calling, bad words, and tears. But if you stick to your guns and realize you will be better off without your boyfriend or girlfriend, it can be liberating and exciting. So how do you go about having a clean break-up? One without being called a bitch or causing a scene at Starbucks? Here are some easy tips to follow that will help you get over your ex quickly and fairly painlessly.
DO: Have a Game Plan Going In
Break-ups usually aren’t spur of the moment. Chances are, you’ve been considering ending things for a few weeks, and after finally deciding it’s what’s best for you, you decide to take the plunge. But before you break your partner’s heart, you have to have a game plan. You should have at least a few valid points as to why your relationship isn’t working anymore, and why you want out. Because once you see your soon-to-be ex and he or she tries changing your mind, thoughts and points you had can get fuzzy.
So ask if you can talk without interruption while you get what you need to say off your chest. Remember to be polite and honest, this is the person you once trusted with everything. They deserve to know your honest feelings and what this means for the two of you.
DON’T: Let Your Ex Convince You to Stay
If you stick to your game plan going in, then this won’t be a problem. But if you break-up spur of the moment, or can’t remember all the things you wanted to say, your significant other might be able to convince you to stay. They will bring up all the good times you had (even though they were 10 months ago), how much your lives are intertwined (just because you have the same friends doesn’t mean you should stay together), and how they don’t want to find anyone else. And this may very well work. After all, no one knows you better than your boyfriend or girlfriend, and they know how to get you back on their side.
But you have to be strong and remember all the reasons why it isn’t working rather than why it is. So don’t let your significant other bully you into staying because it’s not what they want. You’re young, and if you don’t want to be in a relationship, now is the best time. Staying with someone for the sake of not hurting their feelings is only going to slowly ruin your relationship and cause a bigger, worse break-up later on.
DON’T: Stalk Each Others Social Media Pages
Once you break-up, you don’t know what your ex is doing, who they’re seeing, or where they’re going and it can be a hard adjustment. You’re wondering if they’re going to the bar looking for a one night stand, or if they’re in their room watching “The Notebook” and eating cheese puffs. And once you start thinking of them and their whereabouts, the only logical thing to do is check their Facebook, Twitter, FourSquare, etc.
But stalking your ex’s pages can only bring harm and no good. You end up seeing a picture of him with a new haircut and a leggy blonde falling on him, and all of a sudden you want to throw your laptop out the window. So do yourself a favor and unfriend your ex for the time being, because it’s out of sight, out of mind.
DO: Cut Off Communication
The hardest part about breaking up is not talking to your ex anymore. For the past two years, eight months, or however long you’ve been dating, that person’s been your best friend, drinking buddy, and shoulder to cry on. So it’s hard to stop talking and including them in what’s going on in your life. But you have to do it.
It’s impossible to fully get over someone if you’re still talking on the phone every night or sending each other “I miss you” text messages. This is the most difficult part of a break-up, but it’s crucial if you actually want to end things. So, erase him from your phone if you can’t stop drunk dialing him. Trust me, you will feel better waking up Sunday morning if you don’t have to delete your texts and cringe with embarrassment upon looking at them.