To date, there have been three swine flu-related deaths among college students nationwide. Between the time students spend in large lectures, dorms, and parties, the threat of contracting the disease has unfortunately become imminent. Lucky for you, the Campus Socialite has studied up on ways to protect yourself from the deadly illness, and will now impart our swine savvy knowledge on our readers. Below, I’ve listed 5 situations in which you would likely be susceptible to contracting the swine, and how to avoid them at all costs. Enjoy!
1. Step away from the ice luge. Seriously. They’re fun, they get you fucked up, and they always add a little flavor to any party…but they are a cesspool of germs and encourage the sharing of bodily fluids.
2. No matter how drunk you are – do NOT use your roommate’s toothbrush. It’s sitting right there, and we know it’s tempting, but throw some toothpaste on your finger, and brush manually. (Wash your hands first).
3. Beware of the keg stand. We know, we know. You just can’t help but shamelessly promote the impressive 25 second keg stand you’ve been working on all summer. But GET OVER IT…or get the swine.
4. Stop being a lazy fuck. You just ran out of red cups, or there are no clean shot glasses left? Go out and buy more cups, and wash the shot glasses. No need to exchange germs with the entire party. Besides, you could use the exercise.
5. Be very selective with your hook-ups. If you are heading home with a guy/girl and notice that he or she is coughing, sniffling, sneezing, or appears congested in any way – RED FLAG. Turn around and go home. While getting some lovin’ is enjoyable, swine flu love is not the type you want to mess with.
We’re not even going to waste our breath warning of the danger that comes with sharing other items: bongs, bowls, joints, etc. Those are pretty much a lost cause, so the best advice we can offer is – indulge at your own risk…