So you’ve got some emotional baggage to deal with from your past relationships? How do you let go of previous hurts and move on?
They are questions many of us ask ourselves every time we face heartbreak or emotional pain. As such, one of the most difficult parts of dating is gradually uncovering secrets from our past that we may or may not be proud of.
This Evan Marc Katz blog shares how to eliminate anxiety, fear, and anger that you’re carrying around with you.
Understanding the feeling of having emotional baggage
Emotional baggage isn’t the same as physical luggage. It is a metaphor for your unresolved negative thoughts from previous events and relationships. The worst types of emotional baggage are the small-but-bulky signs, this includes:
- Interchangeable trust issues
- Inner criticism or jealousy
- Endless Comparing Cycle
- Feel guilty, fear, and regret
Why do we keep our memories from a past relationship? Because of our need for assurance, most of us get caught in the old relationship days. If we don’t deal with our emotional baggage, these make us severely affect our current experiences – our relationships, feelings, mental health, family interactions, profession, and so on.
How can you let go of your emotional baggage and learn to find love without it?
The issue wasn’t so much that you had baggage—everyone does—as it was, it had come to view who you are. Without carrying it, you weren’t sure who you would be. It requires the bravery to be free of what is familiar and the vulnerability to accept and learn from what is ahead.
Take a look at things from a positive perspective.
Dealing with emotional baggage stuck from your past love life gets easier when you choose to perceive life and situations positively. It is critical to view your life through the ‘glass half full perspective because of emotional unavailability.
For example, if you’ve been hurt badly by your ex or been cheated on, learn to stay focused on the good side. Look for your worth, and accept that it’s only a lesson that you should put in mind.
Know the “forgive & forget” approach
Allowing yourself to forgive those who have harmed you and letting go of the urge for vengeance might help you release the emotions brought on by their misdeeds. Furthermore, forgiving yourself for previous mistakes is essential to moving on and not allowing guilt to linger.
Examine your dating and relationship assumptions
One of the first ways to free your emotional baggage is to reconsider dating and relationship clichés that may keep you from finding true love. Unfortunately, many of us have predefined expectations when we start seeking a long-term partner or embark on a romantic relationship because of our emotional baggage from previous relationships.
If a previous relationship ended badly, you might find that you’re still burdened by the disappointment that it didn’t work out or that you’re reliving the terrible memories. Then, examine what could be your true assumptions about relationships and dating. To fully recover from the previous events, you need to set your standard in finding long-lasting love.
Unloading your backpack & take a break
Allow yourself time and space from whatever prompted your present response if you find yourself reacting to stuff happening in your life now because of emotions.
A smart, successful woman is a treasure to everybody. So if you’re caught in that situation, know that you can, and you will conquer it.
Instead of allowing terrible memories to make you feel humiliated or fearful, you begin to see them as opportunities to ponder, recover, and flourish in your new relationship. When you go away, take a few deep breaths, and think about how your negative thoughts may be clouding your judgment, you’ll be able to put it aside when you return to deal with the issue at hand.
Is dating someone who has emotional baggage a burden?
Every one of us has a history.
But, when moving forward with someone else, we have a choice in how we let them influence our decisions and happiness. If you think they’re capable of loving and deserve to be healed from what hurt them while living in the past, then it’s not a burden.
Learn how to move things out of the box from the previous happenings and start living a life filled with greater joy and freedom. This can lead you to have a healthy relationship that’s free from toxic moments. You never know how wonderful or amazing your future love life will be because old ones terminate for a reason.
A Dating coach has one final say…
Once you already cope with your emotional baggage, it’s time to create new memories to replace old, bad recollections and find the true love you deserve.
Look for a partner who makes you happy and in a way that makes you feel loved. Past experiences are past; learn to let them go.