Hofstra UniversitySex and Relationships

For the Ladies: What Men Really Mean When They Say…

By: Amanda Schweitzer (Hofstra)

Have you ever wondered what men are really thinking? Did you ever wish you could jump inside the brain of a man and see how it functions? Here are some phrases that men say on a daily basis. Women are oblivious to the fact that this is what men are really thinking. Sometimes, I begin to wonder if there is a place where men go to trade ideas on how to fool women. Well ladies, DON’T LET THEM FOOL YOU! We have power over men no matter what they try and say to us. I know it’s tempting to want to have sex with your man if he tells you that you’re the only one he is thinking about but GIRL please, read through the lines.  “It’s not you it’s me.” THEY REALLY MEAN “It’s you.”

“It’s a guy thing.” THEY REALLY MEAN “I’m an asshole and don’t want you to know about it.”

“I didn’t forget to call you, I was busy.” THEY REALLY MEAN “I was banging a bitch and she was better than you.”

“How do you spell your name?” THEY REALLY MEAN “ I forgot your name.”

“I have been thinking about you all day.” THEY REALLY MEAN “I have been thinking about you naked all day.”

“I’m not ready to commit to a relationship yet.” THEY REALLY MEAN “My dick is not ready for one vagina for the rest of its life.”

“Try this drink it’s delicious.” THEY REALLY MEAN “Try this drink it’s delicious…just a few more shots and you will be spread eagle on my face.”

“I miss you.” THEY REALLY MEAN “My hand is cramping.”

“I want to introduce you to my friends.” THEY REALLY MEAN “I want them to see how hot you are.”

“You’re beautiful.” THEY REALLY MEAN “I want to bang you.”

“Sure I’ll put lotion on your back.” THEY REALLY MEAN “Gives me an innocent excuse to touch you.”

“You’re the only girl I think about.” THEY REALLY MEAN “You’re the only girl I think about…when you’re giving me head.”

“You’re different than a lot of girls.” THEY REALLY MEAN “You’re a fucking dick tease.”

“You’re perfect.” THEY REALLY MEAN “Your body is perfect.”

“That outfit looks great on you.” THEY REALLY MEAN “Your boobs look enormous.”

“I’m hungry.” THEY REALLY MEAN “I’m hungry.”

“I’m sleepy.” THEY REALLY MEAN “I’m sleepy.”

All you Campus Socialites keep a look out for more funny and useful information on Amanda’s advice column!

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