By: Chhaya Néné (University of Miami)
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How many times have you seen a sibling, friend, or best friend clinging to an ex or even someone they really liked but didn’t really like them? You see that your friend or sibling texting that ex nonstop, or when you all are supposed to be hanging out your sibling/friend is with the ex? You tell them that this has got to stop but they don’t listen, and you wonder how do I get them to realize that the ex is not worth it? Here’s how.
At one point or another we all have either been in this situation or will be in this situation so be careful and be patient with your sibling/friend. If you yell and scream at them, they are only going to move away from YOU. I know it’s hard watching someone you care about being abused emotionally or being that lovesick puppy, but this is something they are going to have to get through themselves. Understand that they may feel like their situation is unique, but it’s not. Crazy people are crazy people and they are in relationships.
The Mirror Effect
‘Hold a mirror’ to the person when they are acting lovesick, meaning there is probably another couple that you and your sibling/friend know who are in the same situation. Talk about that couple and ask them to point out what’s wrong in that situation, then ask them to look at their situation and ask them if they see similarities. People often judge others quickly and can see other people’s fault when they themselves are not involved in the situation, when you are analyzing someone else they might see what’s wrong in their situation.
Lean on Me!
Your friend/sibling is going to need you throughout the time of their lovesickness. They may drive you nuts at times, but as much as they may be pushing you away, when they come out of their love-coma they will be one of the loneliest people, so while you don’t have to listen to their every word or put up with their drama, let them know that you are there for them if they need it.
As much as it sucks to sit by and watch the people you care about with psychos, it’s going to happen. As long as you realize this, and can be gentle with the people you care about, you should be fine!