Girls complain about boys being immature from the moment hormones start pumping through their veins. Well, I’ve got news for you, ladies: men never actually grow up. I’ll be laughing about dick and fart jokes until the day I die. I still aspire to be an astronaut/cowboy, or combination of the two. I’d waste all of my money building a ballpit into my house if I could. Our newest show Man-Teen supports this claim, but so do a number of other movies that you might or might not know. Let’s start with the obvious and move towards the obscure, shall we?
The paradigm of the man-boy theory, Step Brothers is the first thing that comes to mind when you think about grown ass men acting like 6-year-olds. Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly are jobless middle-aged dudes, living in their parents’ houses, playing with nightvision goggles, samurai swords, and Chewbacca masks. Need I say more? Everyone and their mother has seen this movie.
This list wouldn’t be complete without some derivative of Peter Pan. I decided to use Hook for a number of reasons: 1. It’s freaking awesome, 2. Dustin Hoffman plays the illest Captain Hook, and 3. It’s about a grown up Peter returning to Neverland and reconnecting with his forgotten childhood. He learns to use his imagination, plays a weird version of basketball with the lost boys, befriends the Skunk-haired Rufio, and swims through the air in green tights. When he returns to reality, he climbs a gutter…sounds like a man-boy to me.
Adam Sandler is the king of man-boys, and you’ll find out why later. In Billy Madison, he’s a drunken fool that talks to invisible penguins and lives in a tent outside his dad’s mansion. Did I forget to mention that he draws a smiley face on his chest with sunscreen? The whole movie is about him going back to grade school – he fits right in there. It’s fairly self-explanatory.
Okay, so Steve Carrell‘s character Andy is responsible enough to hold down a job and afford to rent his own apartment and pay his bills, but think of all the boyish shit he still does: collects action figures, rides a bicycle, calls himself “Andy” (which is weird when you really think about it), and oh yeah, is a middle-aged virgin…awkward. All signs are pointing to a self-sufficient man-boy.
Remember when I said Adam Sandler was the lord of all man-boys? Well, he’s the producer behind Grandma’s Boy, and it was written by and stars all of his friends. You could say they’re a man-boy collective. Alex, played by Allen Covert, is kicked out of his house because of his roommate’s addiction to filipino hookers. So the 36-year-old video game tester moves into his grandma’s house, lies to all of his friends about banging hot chicks (who are actually old ladies), and thus completes the cycle of the manchild. By the way, JP thinks he’s a robot…’nuff said.
Okay, so this might be one of the worst movies ever made, but it’s got a few good one-liners, and regardless of whether it’s an oscar-winner or the most horrible thing to ever come out of Hollywood, it still tackles the idea of the manchild with a fairly ingenious plot device: a 20 year coma. Jamie Kennedy plays a breakdancer who gets hit on the head and wakes up two decades later to find out that the world has changed, but he’s still the same kid. He brings his crew back together and reignites their childhood dreams of being the best dancing crew around. It’s so freaking stupid.
Okay, I take that back about Kickin It Old Skool being one of the worst movies ever. THIS is the worst movie ever. Welcome to Tom Green’s directorial debut, a movie starring none other than Tom Green. In it, he plays an unemployed cartoonist who moves back in with his parents (jobless and homeless seems to be the popular theme here). When his parents demand that he leave, he spreads rumors that his father has been sexually abusing his little brother Freddy. It’s abysmal at best, but still a great example of a dude acting like a child.
Remember those two other times when I said Adam Sandler was the ultimate man-boy? Well, this movie completes the trifecta. In this one, Adam Sandler’s character Bobby Boucher isn’t a completely immature man by choice, but because of his overbearing Cajun mother, played by Kathy Bates. She doesn’t let him go to school, date girls, and she takes credit for creating electricity. It’s the classic tale of a sheltered boy let loose upon the world to find his manhood he was never allowed to have. And find it he does. Though in the end, he still speaks like a complete imbecile. Can’t fix everything I guess.
Now it’s time for one of the most severely underestimated comedies of all time. Sure the plot is absolutely ridiculous (Andy Samberg does stunts to raise money to pay for his step father’s heart surgery so he can fight him), but the symbolism is fantastic. Think about it: The only way Rod can prove his manhood is by defeating his stepdad in equal one-on-one battle. Until that moment, the very last seconds of the movie, he’s just a man-boy, living in his mom’s house, stuck on his childhood dream of being a stuntman. For god’s sake, he wears a cape and a fake mustache. I don’t know how to make it any more obvious.
No, not Mystery Men, although that movie could very well fit in this list. Mystery Team is the brainchild of Community’s Donald Glover, a movie about three high school students who aspire to be crime novel detectives. They use walkie-talkies, lame disguises, and operate out of a lemonade stand-like structure built in the front yard. It’s like what would happen if Encyclopedia Brown grew up, but never got out of his silly “solving mysteries” phase. Things change when they get their first adult case, and well, you’re just have to watch to find out. If you’re a manchild on the inside, I promise you’ll enjoy this movie.
Check out the first episode of Man-Teen below, and watch all the episodes on Campus Socialite TV.
- George C. Scott Cries Over Adam Sandler’s New Movie (Video) (thecampussocialite.com)