I know it seems like you guys know a lot about me already: I bang plus size models, I puke fairly easily, and I love when children get hurt. What you guys don’t know is that I have a secret obsession with Euro-Trash. I bet your wondering why someone who bangs plus size models watches Euro-Trash music videos? Well that’s simple: They are visually appealing, you can watch them on mute late at night, and they make you extremely worldly.
The Saturdays (UK)
Lets start with the hottest girl group in the entire world, The Saturdays. I would delete every post on this blog just to get some side boob. The first video is a good introduction. It tells you their names and features fast moving images of them in lingerie. It’s a cover of Depeche Mode’s Just Can’t Get Enough.
Now here is a club banger called Forever is Over. I don’t really get the message they are trying to convey with this song but holy shit they are all fucking hot.
Girls Aloud (UK)
Another band from across the pond that I lust for. They led the way for The Saturdays in so many ways. Watch this video Can’t Speak French. (These lyrics are filthy).
As you can tell The Saturdays got their sluttiness from them, but the difference between them is that Girls Aloud have two average looking girls in their group. Here’s another filthy song called Biology. I think it’s about sex but I’m still unsure because I never had enough sex to understand the symbolism.
Don’t really have much to say about him other than the fact that he makes me want to party like Charlie Sheen and snort cocaine. The first video is All I Ever Wanted.
Don’t tell me you don’t want to bang a 7 gram rock and finish it after watching that video. I also think he is trying to tell a story with these two videos because they use the same girl and dude. This one is Now You’re Gone. If play this song at a rave you might get some. You can thank me later.
Linni Meister (Norway)
She is equivalent to Paris Hilton (can you say throwback?) except way bustier. I won’t do to much describing because she does a good job with this song: My Ass (spoiler alert she gives a rim job in the first minute of the video).
Yes, she was singing about her ass. In this song she does a beautiful rendition the famous Destiny’s Child song Survivor.
Gunther is a God amongst mortals. I’m pretty sure he is singing about his dick in the song Ding Ding Dong, but I wouldn’t know because I haven’t seen my dick since ’92.
Tutti Frutti Summer Love is a beautiful song about melons and bananas and how they make for an amazing night.