By: Ann Redus (UTSA)
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In the beginning, relationships are full of excitement, passion, laughter, and no worries. You get butterflies in your stomach when they call, you can’t stop smiling, and nothing else seems to even matter. One month of dating turns into a few months… You have a toothbrush at their place and an extra pair of clothes. Date nights have gone from multiple nights a week to just a couple of nights, if that. A few months have turned into several months and those giddy feelings of infatuation have faded as quickly as the last few months have flown by. Unfortunately, it seems as though your honeymoon stage is over. The flight has landed and it’s time to unpack your backs so you can settle in for sex one night a week and pee on the toilet seat. What do you do when those incredible feelings of chemistry have been put out by the sands of time? You seem to be more annoyed and irritated than you are enjoying yourself. Little things like a messy toothpaste tube or how they hog the blanket just aren’t as cute as they once were. Once you’ve realized the fun part is over it becomes more and more difficult for both of you to stay when the past few months look brighter than the months to come.
If you are seeing someone whose past doesn’t consist of a long term relationship of any kind, you should worry. This translates to an inability to commit. A person can’t avoid relationships that have the potential of turning into something deeper for forever unless their goal is to be alone for forever. Commitment phobes will always be just that – afraid of commitment. They tend to jet as soon as the passion phase is over and then they’re on the next best thing to temporarily satisfy their needs. Leaving you high and dry. They want to love you and leave you at the first sign of some serious. Sad, but true. Lasting relationships have strong foundations based on authentic companionships, realistic values, and similar beliefs. There has to be something more to a relationship than infatuation.
The key to outlasting the honeymoon stage is to date the right person from the beginning. Relationships should be established based on eternal qualities and a genuine friendship because the chances of staying in a committed relationship are much higher than those based on pure infatuation and physical chemistry. Not saying those attributes aren’t good, they’re just short lived. There’s no sense is wasting your time on a relationship that is never going to result in anything but that – wasted time. Hopefully, if you ever hit the point where the fun in your relationship is over, one of the parties involved has enough sense to abandon ship. Yes, it’s going to hurt someone but in the end it’s better to end it sooner than later. The best divorce is the one that happens before two people get married.