One of the best feelings is finding out that you just got accepted into the college of your choice. You open the envelope and see that the school you love has just told you that they want you to attend their university. You celebrate for the next few months until the next letter comes… the letter that tells who you your roommate and suite-mates are going to be. Then the excitement of going to college is overshadowed by the worry and wonder of whom you will be sleeping in a room with for the next eight months. I’ll never forget the day I got my letter stating the names of my roommates. Hm, my two suite-mates are from New Jersey and Staten Island, not bad not bad.
The door flies open and in comes Kumar, an Indian dude wearing a Patriot’s jersey, backwards hat, and carrying a funnel. “What’s up bro!” he yelled raising the funnel in the air. My stomach lifted higher than a pedophile’s dick at a middle school dance. This guy is the fucking man! Thank god my roommate is chill. We started asking questions about each other. You drink? Obviously. Smoke? Spur of the moment. Like girls? Yes! Boom I just found the Indian version of me.
After meeting my suite-mates, we all decide to go out and get a nice TV for our common room. We all go to a Best Buy, bond with each other, and get back to the dorm. We walk by a bunch of people dressed up and talking outside our dorm area. Apparently there was a huge party… on the first night of school. Fucking sick. We quickly go out to the store and get beer (because Kumar has a fake… another reason why he is the man) and begin a short pre-game in our room. Kumar funnels all his beers while my suite-mates and I start shot gunning beers left and right. After feeling the aftermath of a healthy pre-game, we venture off to find this party and continue to get to know each other. The alcohol is helping us out.
We finally arrive at the party and immediately go to the keg to fill our cups. This is fucking intense! So many people are here and everyone is shitfaced. My suitemates set off in search of some college herb, leaving Kums (pronounced ‘cooms’) and I in search of the beer pong table. After drinking about three cups of beer from the keg, we find this stuff next to the beer pong table… jungle juice. Since we were up next to play pong, we decided to try it out. We filled all ten (not that pussy six-cup shit) of our cups with it and began to play pong. We won the first few games and were convinced they fucked us out of alcohol because we could not taste any vodka in that juice. We’re playing with straight Kool-Aid?
We leave the table after a loss and start walking around the party… stumbling I should say. Kums and I quickly look at each other. That shit really did have alcohol in it…and we consumed about six cups of it. Wow, now what? Dollar-a-shot in front of the DJ. We drop about three bucks each, take three shots of vodka, then go off to find our suite-mates. We see them in a corner of the yard smoking a blunt… sick. We meet up with them and hang out for a little while. We hear the DJ say something and the entire party go crazy. What the fuck is going on? We turn around and there’s Chris Webby performing live on the DJ stage. What a night. By far one of the sickest parties I’ve ever been to. Until the cops show up seconds later. My suite-mates, Kums, and I bolt out of the party and begin walking back to the dorms. We are wrecked and decide to go to the bar for the first time. On our way there, we see a huge white couch on the side of the road. We all look at each other. And that two second drunken stare meant only one thing. Let’s steal this bitch. We carry this couch about three to four blocks before we realize that there must be a reason why a couch would be outside. Yep… termites. Sick.
After ditching the couch, we head over to the bars only to find out that they’re closed because someone puked all over the bar. Wow. After that mess, we stop at Popeyes for every student’s drunken crave. We enjoy our meal and head back to our dorm. We get in successfully (thank god) and get ready to pass the fuck out. Kums and I get in bed and try to go to sleep. BANG! What the fuck was that? We jump out of bed and look out the window. Public Safety just crashed into a tree outside our goddamn window. Are you fucking serious? Both awesome and scary at the same time. After these crazy assholes hit the tree, they just backed up and dove away. Oh yeah, no big deal or anything. To this day, there is a bent tree in front of The Hague house in the Netherlands by the parking lot. That window in front of it? That would be my room. And you can thank Public Safety.
So to recap, my first night of college? Absolute success. Met my suitemate and roommate, who to this day are three of my close friends. Went to a filthy party and discovered the wonders of jungle juice. Oh yeah, and I saw Public Safety show that if there’s driving involved, I’m basically on my own. Great night, and many more have followed… which you will find out shortly about.