Sex and Relationships

My Girlfriend Cheated on Me. What Should I Do?

This is the latest installment of Ask A Bro with Waffles McButter of Recently: Scraping the Bottom of the Mail Bag for Squirters, Phantom Boners, and the Ass-to-Tits Ratio, A Girl Asks, Am I His Girlfriend or Just Another Notch on His Belt?, Should Girls Wear Makeup or Leave the Painting to Picasso?, How Do I Stop a Female Cockblocker?, and How Hot Does a Girl Have to Be to Overlook the Fact That She’s a Moron?

Dear Waffles,

 I just found out that my girlfriend of two years cheated on me last night. I love her and she swears it was a one-time, drunken lapse in judgment. What should I do?

Bro Sammity Sam

Dear Bro,

Doesn’t seem fair, does it? Hell, I’d speculate that it might even make a man downright angry if he harps on it long enough. Two long years you have been with this bimbo, and this is how she repays you for being faithful to her? Even if you weren’t faithful (who is these days?), that doesn’t matter. You need to remember that this is her fault and you’re not the one on trial here. I’d venture to say that even if you did cheat, you at least had the common-fucking-courtesy to hide your affairs and maybe even wash your dick most times — although, nothing beats owning a girl via the dirty dick. Can I get an Amen?
Unlike you, I, thankfully, have never been on the wrong side of infidelity. But I know what you’re going through: confusion, heartache, and newly developed trust issues. Meanwhile, your two-timing girlfriend only has to deal with regret and quite possibly the aftertaste of a stranger’s dick (and its reproductive juices) in her mouth.

So how can you approach this? For starters, you need to tackle this immediately and with a cool head. So put down that AK-47. The forecast isn’t calling for a lead storm today, solider.

Once you realize how idiotic it would be to kill her, or the perpetrator who sent shock waves through her vagina last evening, you have three logical things you can do. But before you make your move, you need to assess your feelings toward her and her level of remorse.

To View Waffles McButters Options for What To Do When Your Girlfriend Cheats On You, Click Here



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