By: Paige Vigil (University of Minnesota)
Follow Paige on Twitter
It’s normal to think that what you’re doing in the bedroom may be considered abnormal. I’m here to tell you, who cares! Besides, there are probably more people in the same boat. Curious? Keep reading…
1. Queefing: Yes, I said it. No, it’s not pretty. Bottom line, it happens and it’s unavoidable. Queefing is caused by air getting pushed into a woman’s Pikachu, and how are we supposed to prevent that? Laugh it off and move on…quickly.
2. Hair: A manageable amount of course. Not-so-normal would be growing a jungle large enough to house a small parrot, similar to what you’d find in the rainforest. Nowadays everything is supposed to be sleek for both men and women, but don’t disregard someone for sporting something a tad more covering than a landing strip.
3. NOT vajazzling: The new fad for women is no longer the Brazilian wax but something called vajazzling. I’m not going to lie, I don’t have the slightest idea what vajazzling is, but it sounds painful and direly unnecessary.
4. Having more than 1% body fat: I know, as a woman, a little tummy pudge can seem like the end of the world, especially when I spend the majority of my week reading Cosmo. However, it’s important to remember that very few people in magazines, both men and women, really look like that. In a world of Photoshop, it can be easy to get down on yourself. Yet, your best asset shouldn’t be your six pack, it should be your confidence. If you really want a six pack, there’s probably one at the grocery store but with even more hops.
5. Being strongly opposed to bringing food into the sack: Why would you want chocolate syrup ruining your Egyptian cotton sheets anyhow? I love both my chocolate and my men rich but when combined together…it’s too much of a good thing.
6. To disregard your friend’s advice:…or my advice for that matter. Do what feels good to YOU.
7. To wake the neighbors: I think this one is pretty self explanatory… You only live once, right?
8. To worry about you before you worry about him/her: No one really wants to admit they do this. Obviously, most of us worry about our partner in the boudoir, but make sure you get yours if they’re gonna get theirs.
9. Explore new horizons: Sick of the same ol’ bed routine? Try the hot tub. Sick of missionary? Try reverse cowgirl. Just like you switch up your work-out routine, you should switch up your sack sessions.
10. Not cuddling afterward: Why would you want to cuddle when you’re both (hopefully) sweaty?