One on One with Mr. Wang: Getting to Know Your Junk (Part II)

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Monday brought you a new week along with a package of 8 enlightening facts about well… your own package (assuming you are a dude).   Today we wrap up the manhood manifesto with 7 additional bits o’ knowledge about the penis.  So reach into your pants, grab whatever you got, and prepare to open your mind to some more truth about trouser snakes.

7. The average male orgasm lasts 6 seconds. Women get 23 seconds. Which means if women were really interested in equality, they’d make sure we have four orgasms for every one of theirs.

6. Doctors can now grow skin for burn victims using the foreskins of circumcised infants. One foreskin can produce 23,000 square meters, which would be enough to tarp every Major League infield with human flesh.

5. Circumcised foreskin can be reconstructed. Movable skin on the shaft of the penis is pulled toward the tip and set in place with tape. Later, doctors apply plastic rings, caps, and weights. Years can pass until complete coverage is attained. . . . Okay, I’ll shut up now.

4. An enlarged prostate gland can cause both erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. If you have an unexplained case of either, your doctor’s looking forward to checking your prostate. Even if you’re not.

3. Smoking can shorten your penis by as much as a centimeter. Erections are all about good bloodflow, and lighting up calcifies blood vessels, stifling erectile circulation. So even if you don’t care all that much about your lungs or dying young, spare the lil guy.

2. Only one man in 400 is flexible enough to give himself oral pleasure. It’s estimated, however, that all 400 have given it their best shot at some point.

1. The oldest known species with a penis is a hard-shelled sea creature called Colymbosathon ecplecticos. That’s Greek for “amazing swimmer with large penis.” Which officially supplants Buck Naked as the best porn name, ever.
So there you have it – now you’re a penile expert.  Go out and conquer the world from the waist down!

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