At so many college parties one particular item becomes the center of attention. Whether it be the action around the keg, the beerpong tournament, or just a smokin’ hot coed who decided to wear a pair of skin tight pants that leave little to the imagination – really, those pants are the stuff dreams are made of. Those are all fine and dandy and there is no doubt that kegstands, cameltoe pants, and everything in between will continue to turn heads for the foreseeable future, but what if there’s more? In our quest to better all of your lives by sharing our refined campus wisdom with aspiring Socialites, we have unearthed the crown jewel of partying: The MyFountain automated drink mixer.
With the capacity to hold and refrigerate 16 different types of booze, the MyFountain can serve you in more ways than a group of underprivileged ethnic street dancers. Whether it is pouring you a beer or a precisely mixed cocktail, the MyFountain will get you bombed with just the touch of a couple of buttons. A sexy LCD touchscreen allows the user to choose ingredients and measurements for beverages and even makes drink suggestions to keep the creative juices flowing.
One impressive feature on the MyFountain is best suited for the responsible drinker – the alcohol limit enforcer. By setting up password access to the machine, the owner can place restrictions on what and just how much the machine will dispense to particular users. This is ideal for fraternities who don’t want pledges getting too wasted (or drinking at all) and who need to keep the at-risk brothers (you all know who you are) from going over the deep end.
Did I forget to mention that the MyFountain has an automatic self-cleaning function? That’s right, there is no need for you to worry about sanitizing this ingenious party tool. Perhaps the only downside to the MyFountain is the price – a hefty $2,500, but isn’t that what Greek life social budgets are for?
You want to achieve instant Socialite status? Drink in style next semester with the MyFountain and you will be more popular with the ladies than someone else who also knew a little something about mixing: