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As part of our new Study Abroad column, we have written a parody of one of The Campus Socialite’s favorite childhood pastimes. Here is our version of Dr. Seuss’ famous, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go!”

Congratulations!
You’ve been accepted today!
You’re off to study abroad,
So take off, fly away!

You’ve got brains in your head.
You’ve got weed in your blunts
So get to Amsterdam, you silly cunts.
You’re on your own, so get high as a kite,
Be sure to get to France on your next flight.

Eat some croissants, you may still be stoned
But you’re in France, so get your taste buds honed.
See the girls dancin’ at the Moulin Rouge,
See the Eiffel when it’s dark, don’t be a stooge.

Move south to Spain, guard your pockets with care
Go watch a bull fight, if you do dare.
Flamenco dancin’ is great for a groove
Oh shit, a gypsy! You better move!

Let’s go north to Switzerland, just to ski
The Alps are gorgeous, but the people? No, sir-ee.
Enough of the snow, let’s get to the food
Italian women sure set the mood.

Florence, Venice or Rome, how could you choose?
The food, the wine, oh, I love all that booze.

Oh! The places you’ll go!

Let’s go east to Greece, time to island hop
The parties are endless, they just don’t stop.
The Greek men are always pitching a tent
If you give them a blow, they’ll drop you a cent!

Quick, get classy again, Austria we’ll go
Mozart, the opera, stay for a show.
Move over to Czech where prostitutes roam
You’re guaranteed to get some great dome.

Prague can get wild as day fades to night,
So do all them drugs, so you can feel right.
Move on to Hungary, get a taste of the east
The architecture is lovely, let your eyes feast!

Oh! The place’s you’ll go!

Get to Germany where the nude run free,
As Nazism ended, so did tyranny.
Drink up some beer at Oktoberfest
Have fun, go nuts, get drunk with the best.

End your trip in London or Dublin for cheap,
Check out Big Ben, but try not to weep.
For your travels are over, but as they say
Only memories are left to be stowed away.

Oh! The places you’ll go!

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