Why did I splurge for the large soda? A question I commonly ask myself while toughing out the final leg of a 2 hour, 30 minute marathon film and avoiding a bathroom run at all costs. There has to be a better solution for thirsty moviegoers than crossing your legs and praying for the sweet escape of the end credits to roll and set off a mad dash for the urinal. Fortunately, from the creative mind of a goofy third string NFL quarterback and some helpful software wizards, RunPee.com is available to relieve your struggle and keep you from missing any key scenes on the silver screen. Read on to see just how you can have your Pepsi and pee it too with the help of this revolutionary iPhone application.
Not to take anything away from Chad Ocho Cinco’s catch phrases or Andre Smith’s double-D floppy bitchtits, but the comedic stylings of Cincinnati Bengals QBs (and brothers) Carson and Jordan Palmer were the highlight of HBO’s recent series “Hard Knocks.” Whether it was Carson commending team staff member Lamar on his “berrylicious” Gatorade mix or Jordan using coupons to pay for a team dinner, the Palmer boys were a nonstop laugh riot. Perhaps the funniest Palmer-Palmer moment of the show came when the two signal callers discussed Jordan’s work in developing RunPee, an iPhone app that lists the best times to go to the bathroom during movies that are currently playing in theatres.
In addition to listing ideal times to take a leak, RunPee also informs users of exactly what takes place in the plot of the film while they are relieving themselves. No longer do you run the risk of missing those critical scenes that force you to ask the person sitting next to you questions like “What happened?” and “Whoa, I thought that guy was alive, what the f*ck did I miss?” Ok, so maybe that second question is only relevant for M. Night Shyamalan pictures.
iPhone owners can make RunPee a part of their app menu for just $1.99 and will never need to stress again about quenching their thirst at the cinema. Palmer and Co.’s ingenious service even comes equipped with a built-in timer to let you know just how long you have until the next pee time. A simple vibration in your pocket will note pee alerts, although a quiet beep may be safer just to avoid setting off any premature urination. The developers at RunPee are working to bring their app to Blackberry, Nokia, Palm Pre, Windows Mobile, and Android phones so just hold it in a little while longer and soon you will be enjoying the complete Hollywood experience without ever having to burst your bladder again.