It’s happened to everyone – you wake up 10 minutes before an exam that is occurring all the way across campus, and by the powers of some as-yet-unknown antimatter god or the ghost of Patrick Swayze, you get there just in the nick of time.If you can get to class that fast when you need to, why cheat yourself out of sleep every day? Here are five tips that can add lightning efficiency to your morning routine.
Iron your clothing while wearing it. Setting up an ironing board is a tremendous time drain, and it’s almost laughable that people are still using these archaic devices in the 21st century. You can free yourself from this burden by placing a layer of insulated material between your shirt and your skin and just wanding yourself like a hot chick at the airport.This is more convenient during the winter, when you’re wearing several layers. It’s very effective if you’re in tremendous shape like me, but I guess fat people can give it a go.
Cereal in a cup. Some people will just say eat a multi-grain bar, but those people have no respect for the institution of breakfast. You need to be wolfing down a hearty-ass meal in the morning, otherwise you’ll be a failure in everything you do, and I’ll be glad as hell that I predicted it. But cereal in a bowl is not a luxury we all can enjoy. So why not take advantage of all that driving or walking time you have once you leave the house? Definitely bring a spoon, though, for dislodging purposes. The main drawback of cereal in a cup is that it is not fond of leaving the bottom.
Shave and brush your teeth simultaneously. Each activity requires just one hand, and they both occur in the same place. It’s totally illogical not to pair them. This requires a lot of multitasking ability to master, though, because a good tooth-brushing motion is not a good shaving motion, and vice versa. Plus, if you zone out there’s a slight risk of shaving your tongue.
Sandwich in the toaster. This doesn’t really save any time, but have you ever tried smashing a ham and cheese to notepad width and cramming it in the toaster? It’s extremely delicious. Thankfully my mom isn’t here to yell at me when melted cheese collects at the bottom, because that was a serious buzzkill in high school. It can probably be done to a bagel sandwich if you sit on it first, but to me, that’s just pushing your luck.
Full-on sprint to class (by choice). If you’re worried about people staring at you, please get over yourself. Sprinting is good exercise, and it also plays an important role in activating your metabolism. (I just kinda made that up, but it sounds right.) Additionally, others perceive you as a more exciting person when you never dip below 10 miles per hour. Believe me, you’re gonna start getting numbers, if anyone can ever catch up to you.
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