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Seriously, Why Do You Have That DVD?

With The Hangover being such a classic hit at the box office, it automatically goes into that category of must own DVD. For any DVD collector this comedic masterpiece will surely make the collection that much better, but what about the rest of your catalog? We all have that friend who goes out and buys every DVD possible, their room is completely filled with hundreds of DVD’s and less than half of them are quality movies. It’s like a rapper’s collection on MTV Cribs, just because they have every collectors version of Scarface and more HBO box sets than Best Buy doesn’t mean you should do it as well. They always have the classics, the action thrillers, hilarious stoner flix, cartoon box sets, and then they have the DVDs that really make you say seriously why do you have this? If your friend has any of the DVDs on this list then he/she is a serial DVD collector.  If they have more than one of these titles then you need to sit them down and have an intervention, it is just not acceptable no matter how large the collection.

Kazaam- The cover of this DVD alone should give you enough warning to stand at least 50-feet away at all times. Sure Shaq might be the best NBA center of all time and actually is a pretty funny guy, but this movie was a disaster. If I was Kobe I would simply hold up a copy of this DVD and not say a word, any dispute would be over because there is simply nothing worse than this movie.

Catwoman- Halle Berry is one fine piece of ass, I know from experience (nope thats not true, but you can imagine if I did) but this movie could have been replaced by just a poster with Berry in the cat suit and it would have saved Warner Brothers millions. No offense to Berry but Catwoman just cant be its own movie, she’s a great villain in Batman and thats where it ends.

Battlefield Earth- This film is actually known as the worst movie ever made, legitimately the worst ever. John Travolta somehow convinced people to give money and produce this train wreck.  Danny Zuko would be ashamed of this role and of any of you if you actually own this nightmare of a DVD.

Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj- I had to include this one because I was such a fan of the original Van Wilder and was heartbroken when I saw this sequel. I figured Kumar could hold his own and actually piece together a pretty funny movie but man was I wrong. The only thing that could have made this one better would have been closing credits with the Tara Reid nipple slip video.

Artificial intelligence: AI- By far the weirdest movie of all time. Haley Joel Osment is why little kids  are constantly used to freak people out in movies and I am convinced this role was created just to soften the blow to society when we discover he actually is a robot. Spielberg really shit the bed on this one.

Full House Box Set- Some of you might actually be offended by this one but it needs to be on the list. Sure Full House was a child hood favorite to all of us, but who is ever going to sit down and say “I would love to watch Danny Tanner teach DJ another valuable life lesson” or “Uncle Jessie’s hair is amazing, I need to see Jessie and the Rippers perform another hit”. Bob Saget is actually one of the sickest bastards of all time, guy is hilarious, and the Olson twins are an entirely different issue all together. As for television box sets, this will downgrade any collection.

The Shaggy Dog- A runner up for the worst movie ever made, The Shaggy Dog strays far away from a good movie. Tim Allen, who we all know as the blue collar tool man, is transformed into a sheepdog; that should have been enough evidence right there to slaughter the potential of this movie. Unless you are five years old or a sheepdog, there should be no reason ever to see this, let alone own it.

Wild Things 2- Let’s face it, the only reason anyone would possibly buy this is to see if the sex scene could top the original. With no name actors throughout this sequel, no Denise Richards and Neve Campbell threesomes, or  even the slightest hint of topless making out, you’re much better off just buying a porn flick.

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