College is a forgiving place when it comes to style.  You can blame bad style on being hung over, being creative, or being up all night studying for mid-terms.  But if you get someone black-out drunk and they still won’t sleep with you, it might be time for a makeover.

Makeovers don’t have to require a ton of money, a new wardrobe, or gaining/losing 30 lbs.  There are simple things you can do that will make a world of difference!  Just try one (or all, probably all) of our tips.

1. Get a friggen hair cut.  Oftentimes, just this move alone will make you look 100% better.  Go to a Supercuts, or spring for a fancy schmancy Salon, ask them what cut they think would look best, and try it out!


2.  Shave, or don’t.  Okay, so beards are kind of in these days (not mustaches, if you have one of those…NO!  JUST NO!) so if you’ve never had one, try it out.  Our method to this tip: Do the opposite.  If you have a beard, shave, if you’re always clean shaven, grow a beard.  Now, take a poll.  Tell people it’s for a school project – “do I look good with a beard/clean shaven?”


3. Groom yourself regularly.  If your nails look like this


For the love of everything holy, spray disinfectant all over your body, cut them off, burn them, and bury the ashes in a volt so they can never get out and hurt you or anyone else again.

4.  Whiten your teeth.  Yellow reminds people of pee and mildew.  Don’t have pee and mildew teeth.  You don’t have to go buy one of those million dollar whitening kits from the store.  If you mix baking soda and peroxide into a thick paste and brush your teeth with it (do NOT swallow the mixture, and if you do, you’ve never met us/ we were never here) once daily until your teeth are as white as you like.

5.  Buy a few key elements for your wardrobe.  These items are always great when you want to impress someone, or when you want to feel amazing and channel your inner Pitbull (ay, fuego!)

A nice blazer with a good fit can be worn with almost anything FOR almost any occasion, and will make you look amazing.

A darker wash jean looks ten times better than faded, holy ones stained with dog juice from Fido’s last hump session.  If you wanna be extra shnazzy, roll up the bottoms into a hip cuff.

Shoes.  You might not think chicks look there…they do!  Buy some nice, comfortable loafers, and some every day, quality sneakers or skate shoe.

Shades.  Get your James Bond on and sport some smexy sunglasses.  You can go with the classic brands like Oakley, and Raybans, but if you don’t have that kind of cash, find a designer pair you like and find a look-alike.

6. Take a shower.  More than once a week.  If you’re constantly having girls eye-rape you, only to come up for five minutes of conversation, take. a. shower!  There’s nothing worse than a guy who smells like jabba-the-hutt’s scrotum.  Buy some manly, smell-good shampoo and body wash like Old Spice or Axe, and scrub…scrub all your shame away.

Take it a step further and invest in some body spray (like Axe or Old Spice, they’ll be in the same aisle at the store).  Here’s a tip for wearing a fragrance – spray the bottle in the air a few times, and walk through the mist.  Almost as offensive as a guy who reaks, is a guy who uses too damned much cologne.  Settle down.

7.  Do an intellectual makeover,  This one is completely free, is often forgotten, and ALL men can benefit from.  Chicks like smart guys, but not ones who make them feel dumb (unless they really are dumb, in which case you don’t need to impress them anyway).  Girls like funny, look up some funny movie quotes or even some cheesy jokes, chicks like cheese!  But don’t goof off all the time or they won’t take you seriously.  Read a trendy book, chicks either love books, or love to pretend they love books.  Be polite, open her effing doors.  If you show her that chivalry isn’t dead, she’ll probably show YOU her boobs.  Be charming and sincere.  Girls can sniff out fake and arrogant like Rottweilers.

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